You can be an expert of your love life. In fact, you already are.
Over the last few years I’ve learned a lot about dating from the single people that I work with.
Before I started my website, everything that I learned about dating I learned from great books. Sometimes I’m asked if I take my own advice, and to be honest, I don’t. For the simple reason that it’s not really mine
I’m yet to find any dating advice that is original to any one coach. I learn from my readers, but I also learn from the experts around me. My experience has given me key insights that I share with readers around the world on my blog, the best advice that I’ve gotten and continue to share is from these amazing books.
Start Where You Are: Life Lessons in Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Chris Gardner, Mim E. Rivas
This isn’t a book about dating but about motivation. The title says it all, start where you are. Many single men and women have a clear picture of the type of person that they want to date but don’t realize that essentially they aren’t good enough for those people. (Which is why they are single)
Some of us get very down about this fact. They know that they aren’t “qualified” to date the person they are after but they do nothing to improve.
They give up and settle. What this book encourages readers to do is to start where you are but keep in mind where you want to be. It may take you five months to lose weight but just start where you are. If you can’t afford a gym membership, just walk around your neighborhood. The point being, anyone can do it why not you?
If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever by Page, Susan (2002) Paperback
I think this book teaches a valuable lesson in how to determine what you’re really looking for in a partner and why you can’t seem to find it. It also has a very strict rule for dating which is; once you decide what you want to pass up anyone that isn’t it. No more settling!
As difficult as it is to do, what this book endorses is leaving yourself open and available to meet the right person by not wasting a second on the wrong ones.
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov
This book is amazing. It’s a must read for every single woman. Not only is it great to have a step by step guide or rule book on how to date, its refreshing that it’s well written. This book doesn’t give you a lot of fluff and feel good advice that comforts you on a Friday night. It’s honest and to the point.
She also encourages women who are needy, desperate and clingy to slap themselves. It reinforces the message that women need to maintain their life before and after they meet a guy.
Don’t let someone walk all over you just for the sake of having a man in your life.
Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again–With Psychological Secrets to Control and Influence Every Situation by Dr. David j Lierberman
This is a book that gets very little attention but has a profound message. Written in easy to apply lessons this book is about the importance of not what you say but how you say it, when and to whom.
It takes such small interactions like greetings, asking for favors and ascribes a method for success. The concepts in the book are not those of manipulation but truly a way to get along with anyone. When dealing with strangers, as we so often do in the dating world, this book is a great guide to making strong impressions. It offers solid suggestions on how to correct misconceptions and get people in your corner.
How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America’s Top Matchmaker by Janis Spindel
This is another must read for single women. Written by a matchmaker, who gives honest, straight to the point advice it offers a marriage minded perspective on dating. For those who want to date to find “the one” this is a great book in discipline.
From the very start of the book, she asks “Why do you think you’re single?” The book makes it clear why most people are single, confronting the excuses many women make as well as correcting the mistakes.
The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murray
This book is the cornerstone of most of my daily meditations. It’s a must read for single women and men.
When it comes to dating the power and laws of attraction are your very best friends. If you’re like me and believe that everything in the universe is connected then it’s easy to manipulate these laws in your favor with positive thinking and meditation.
What this book focuses on is pre-written mediations that help you attract potential mates into your life. I love the concept of being about to have control without going out into the world and demanding it.
Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing with the Unfinished Business of Your Past by Dr. David Viscott
I think this book is important in dating because as adults we often feel entitled or owed something. This book presents the concept that it is necessary for personal growth to express ourselves as accurately and honestly as possible. It is important to voice hurts, wrongs and disappointments for our own benefit but not to expect anyone to take responsibility for our feelings. It also expresses the concept that there is only one kind of love.
I translate this theory as there is only one way that love feels. Once you can allow yourself to love yourself and accept love from friends and family it’s easier to recognize it in a romantic partner.