It isn’t a surprise that men and women don’t understand each other.
Think about it, we as humans barely understand ourselves. We procrastinate, self-sabotage and sweat the small stuff all the while thinking, “Why did I do that?”
We can hardly explain why we are the way we are, so it should be no shock that the behavior of others confounds us.
No behavior is more confusing than that of the opposite sex. If want to have more control over the outcome of your love life then you have to understand the man you’re dating. Before you dive into meeting new potential dates it’s smart to understand men in general.
In this article I’ll explain five facts about men that every woman should know in order to be successful in dating.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
No one is taught how to date so why do we assume that a man knows exactly how to do it? Like most women, you’re expecting the man to know how to ask you out, go in for the kiss, text you sweet nothings and take the lead without any direction. For most men they’ve experienced a woman who hates everything that you like so he’s not about to make that mistake again.
In the movies men are always taking the lead but in the real world men aren’t even sure who is supposed to pay for the date. There is so much confusion about gender roles in modern dating that if you expect a man to know how to date you then you’re waiting for a player or a predator.
It’s ok to want a man to lead but you have to give him a map. If you want a man to ask you out create a positive atmosphere for him to do so. If you want him to be physical with you then position yourself close to him, touch him and encourage him.
Knowing that most men don’t know what they’re doing, you should stop wondering why he isn’t calling, why he hasn’t made a move, or why you haven’t had a second date. The only thing you should try to discern is if this guy likes you or not.
Once you suspect he likes you, suggesting is a great way to encourage a guy to show it. If you suggest the activity, then let him take the lead by planning the day and time. If you suggest he call you after work, let him take the initiative to do so.
If he fails to follow through on your requests then move along but don’t give up on the guy you’re dating before you’ve given some instruction.
He wants to sleep with you
A man wants to know exactly what it will take to sleep with you. Only you know the answer. It’s your responsibility to tell a man what it will take to have sex with you. As a couple, you will have sex eventually; the only question is when.
Once you tell a man the when, it’s up to him to decide if you’re worth it. That’s not a value judgment it’s just a personal preference. If you judge a man by his sexual desire you might get the impression that he only wants sex and dismiss him too quickly. You might even get offended when a man wants or tries to pursue sex with you.
Let the man you’re dating know that you are only interested in sex if your needs are met and when you find the right partner. It might be him so when the time is right it will happen.
If he wants to wait, then he will. If he doesn’t want to wait then he’ll date someone else. He might even decide to sleep with other women and date you until you’re exclusive. There are various reasons men will pursue sex so don’t be shocked or offended when it happens and don’t assume that’s all he wants.
He’s trying to figure you out
The moment a man has figured you out, even if he’s wrong, he will lose interest in dating you. This happens when what you want is so transparent that the man no longer views dating you as a challenge.
It’s true that men enjoy the thrill of the chase. They want to feel like the hunter and not the prey. A woman that wants a boyfriend, commitment, or marriage turns the man into the prey so what does he do? He runs.
Men are afraid to be captured. If at any point a man figures out he is not in control of the hunt, he will end the courtship. Men are always trying to uncover a woman’s motives but the longer it takes him the less it matters. After awhile, weeks or months of dating, he will give up and give in.
In the meantime, its important to know that the man you’re dating is trying to put you into a box. Don’t fit into it by being too predictable, uptight, obvious or desperate. Remember that you also need to figure him out and qualify him as a partner.
He wants to have fun
Men and women have two totally different ideas of fun. If you want to understand men you have to learn what they consider fun. Don’t force a man to do what you want him to do as a way to show he’s into you.
A guy wants to have a good time and he’s more concerned with what he feels when he’s with you than what you’re actually doing. Talking all night in the dark corner of a restaurant sounds romantic but it might not be fun for your guy.
If you aren’t willing to have the same type of fun then accept that maybe you aren’t compatible.
Every moment you spend together should be a fun experience with lots of laughing, smiling and positive vibes. When you’re dating a new guy these great times will determine how far the relationship progresses.
A man judges a woman by how much fun he has with her. If he isn’t feeling like he’s had the time of his life, even if he had a degree fun, he won’t ask her out again.
He wants you to know him
I read once that a man’s biggest pet peeve in dating is meeting a woman who wants an insta-relationship. These women show no interest in who the man is.
They don’t know simple facts about him such as his middle name, family life, or what college he went to. They invest nothing more than a date or two before they are ready to label a man their man without qualifying him.
Men want to be known, all humans do. That is a core desire. There are benefits to getting to know a man and truly understanding who he is.
You don’t need to question his behavior.
You build connection and he bonds to you.
You increase intimacy and trust.
If a man doesn’t feel understood there is little to no intimacy in the relationship and this makes it easy to walk away from. Getting to know the guy you’re dating has to start immediately. Unfortunately, talking about ourselves feels way too good so many women overlook the fact that they aren’t giving their guy the floor to do the same.
Men want to be known and liked for who they are not what they can offer. Forget the idea that men don’t like to talk or share their emotions, and be a willing listener.
I hope this was helpful.