It seems we’re always trying to look for signs that show us that a man is “The One.”
But what about being clear on the qualities you don’t want in a man? In my private coaching practice, I take my clients through a process where we identify both the positive qualities they’d like in a man as well as the ones they would like to avoid.
This allows us to create a clear vision that helps them identify “The One” more quickly. As you date, keep these unacceptable behaviors in mind (especially when you experience a lot of chemistry).
1.) His words consistently do not match his actions – He talks a big game, but when it comes time to deliver he always disappoints. Pay attention to the guy who doesn’t keep his word. It likely signals a lack of integrity.
If he’s always making promises and breaking them (no matter how insignificant it may seem to him), you may want to consider whether he’ll be a reliable partner. And if he’s not able to keep his word to you in the beginning stages of your courtship, what makes you think things will change once he has you as his woman?
2.) He’s doesn’t support your dreams and aspirations – Have you ever heard the saying “Pay attention to those who don’t clap for you”?
If someone isn’t supportive of your goals, puts down your dreams and even seems jealous of your accomplishments, do they really care for you? Do they really have your best interest at heart? If you meet a guy who doesn’t seem supportive of the goals you’d like to accomplish, he may not be truly happy with what he’s accomplished. This may cause some conflict as you continue to grow and achieve success.
The word partnership implies that you’ll have someone in your corner who will support you through your growth. Not someone who will attempt to stifle this growth.
3.) He’s dealing with alcohol or substance abuse issues – He may be an amazing person, but if he’s dealing with addiction issues such as alcohol or substance abuse, then he’s not ready for a healthy relationship. What’s tricky about this is that you often won’t recognize that there is a problem until you spend some time with him. Which is why it’s important that you not jump into a relationship right away without having enough information to make an informed decision.
When you get clear on what qualities you want in a man and which are deal breakers, you’re able to recognize the right guy much more quickly. Once you’re emotionally involved, it’s difficult to go backwards. So make sure you take your time and really get to know a man before you give your heart away to someone who may not be the one.
Sandra Fidelis is an expert dating coach, author and speaker with a great talent for helping single women get off the dating merry-go-round and finally meet the right man. She’s sharing her tips with The Dating Truth.com.
Apply for a Get-Acquainted session with Sandra so she can show you how you can get off the dating merry-go-round for good! Apply here.