When was the last time you went on a date?
Chances are if you haven’t found the time to date in the last year or longer, dating isn’t a priority.
Most singles that view dating as a non-necessity have lost sight of what dating could and should be. If you view dating as a scary and threatening activity, its no surprise you’re in no rush to do it.
- Why would anyone want to date if it means rejection and misery?
- Why would you want to submit your feelings to anothers scrutiny or risk pain?
If dating or the thought of dating brings up painful and uncomfortable feelings you’re not alone.
Several single people view dating as a frivolous activity but I’m not assuming that you’re views on dating is the reason that you haven’t done it.
It’s possible that you haven’t dated in quite some time for a variety of reasons and you’ve simply forgotten how to date.
I’ve noticed that some singles not only forget how to date but also why dating is important. The ability to build meaningful connections with others is the basis of dating. There isn’t a time in our adult lives when this skill isn’t helpful.
So how to you relearn the art of dating if you haven’t been on a date in a long time?
Recently the Internet has been a buzz with an article ‘Why Marriage Isn’t For You’ that introduces the concept that marriage is about the other person and coincidentally so is dating.
Dating is about the other person, who they are and how they fit into your life. Unfortunately, many people find dating difficult when they focus on themselves and their fears.
The better you get to know the person you intend to date the better dating will be for you.
Talk less, listen more.
Its much easier said than done. When you ask questions listen closely to the answers. When you don’t know what to say be silent. When you’re asked a question use short answers only.
Agree with your date as much as you can and try your hardest to understand their point of view before you begin to argue. In fact, don’t argue at all.
Once you’ve forgotten how to date, it’s likely you’ve forgotten how to find dates!
The secret to successfully finding dates is: wanting to give your attention rather than receive it. Genuine interest in others is what makes people want to go out with you.
When you haven’t dated in some time others can sense desperation and anxiety in you that you might not see. Take a tiny step into the dating world by going on group dates or inviting potential dates to intimate parties.
It’s important to make your date feel as comfortable as you can. You should nothing more from them person than their company.
When you can assure the other person that all they will have to give is time, presence and a little bit of energy, you become incredible appealing.
Regardless of why you haven’t been on a date in a long time I still want you to have fun in your life. Dates are attracted to energy. High-energy people are incredibly attractive.
If you perceive dating as a problem you have to fix or solve, you’re taking the wrong approach. You’re problem is connection.
Once you take advantage of opportunities to build friendships with others, dating becomes an extension of those nurtured relationships. Recognize where you can make a friend and you will find it just as easy to get dates. I hope this was helpful.