Are you still waiting for the perfect moment to perfect your game?
When you’re single and you see someone that you’re attracted to then you should do everything in your power to get a date with them. Even if you rarely run into sexy strangers, are you proactive about making an introduction when you do? Most singles aren’t.
Most single men and women wait for the perfect circumstances, or liquid courage before they’ll actually open, (the correct pickup term) a stranger. They tell themselves that this attractive person is either taken, gay, uninterested or all of the above.
What if the good-looking potential dates that you stand behind at Starbucks or wait next to at the train station were actually free and available to date?
This is typically the case. You know the stories you heard in high school about the pretty girls home on Friday night because everyone assumed that they already had dates? Well, they’re true to an extent. Everyone wants to be picked up the right way, its actually flattering and fun. I’m constantly preaching to single men and women to position themselves near and around potential dates. The rub is that you must also speak to them or what’s the point? What if you stood a chance with the very people you wish would approach you? Why wait until they got the nerve when you could take matters into your own hands?
I know you’re thinking that it can’t be so easy or you would’ve been done that, right? The art of approaching a good looking stranger and turning it into a successful interaction starts with (drum roll please…)
But before you find the nearest bridge, and jump, understand that you can out wit confidence with repetition. When you begin to approach attractive, single people you’ll have probability on your side. The more you do it, the better you will become and the action will eliminate the fear.
Do you think you’ll get rejected 100% of the time? That doesn’t happen to anyone. And use your adult brain to consider that you’re actually a pretty cool person, so why would you always get rejected. You wouldn’t! Logic is also on your side. At least it should be, but consider this. They way you’ve approached before wasn’t the right way. When strangers reject our offer it has nothing to do with us but everything to do with our approach. Learn how to pickup someone correctly and it will work 99% of the time.
You can create artificial confidence by constantly approaching potential dates with the same lines and phrases until they begin to work. Most singles don’t do this because they’re waiting for the confidence to come naturally.
If it hasn’t reared its head in the sum odd years you’ve been alive, especially the times when you needed it, I doubt it will pop into you like the Holy Ghost just to get you a date. Remember that old joke, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” Practice, man. Practice.
When approaching potential dates consider two things:
- You were invited to this moment, take advantage of it.
- They want to be approached first.
When you hit on the right person in the right way they appreciate not having to do all of the work. So how do you determine that it’s the right person and most importantly the right way?
FOCUS ON THE DATE NOT THE PERSON.
Oh my God I’m awful right! But consider that you don’t really know this person. As cute as they look in their navy Peacoat you don’t know for sure that they’re your type. You have no clue what they would enjoy doing and you can’t determine their interest in mere seconds.
Instead of focusing on the person, focus on getting the date because the date is what’s TRULY important. With no date you’ll never know if you dodged a bullet or found your soul mate. The right way is a way that puts your potential date at ease and not on guard. Perfect your body language so that you come across as safe and trustworthy.
If you don’t know how, then Google it. Don’t stand too close to them, don’t blink to fast, don’t trap them and don’t run up to them. Remember to be relaxed in your stance with open palms and a smile. Then compliment in genuine way that shows you appreciated something they day. You can learn all about compliments here... When you’re ready to close (a typical sales term) ask their permission.
“I know I don’t know you but I’d love to call you sometime. Would that be ok?”
Phrases as such this allow the person to say yes or no. It also states the obvious, that you’re a stranger and there are risks involved. Also, you’re preparing them for what is exactly going to happen.
If you ask if you can take them out, there are too many possibilities for what that could mean. When you offer to call, you’re laying out a promise that isn’t too intimidating.
When you approach good-looking dates, you want to do the following:
- Give them compliments that mean something
- Put them at ease, let them know that you’re safe
- Close the deal, you can’t forget to get the date.
I’ll give you one more secret tip… before you ask for their number, ask them a yes or no question that they will preferable say yes to. Something general like “Don’t you love this weather, this place, getting hit on by strangers?”
Keep it playful and conversational. What this does is it gives you a running start to getting another yes. One is all you need to increase your chances of getting the date. Again, the best way to build a record of success is to do it often.
I hope this was helpful.
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