I don’t claim to be an expert on men.
I know more about men than most women but only because I pay attention to people’s behaviors. I ask questions and I dig deep into the male psyche by studying what they do and say.
Having been submerged in the world of dating and relationship writing for the last 4 years I’ve read enough information to realize that something is missing.
Men are not complicated.
I’m sure you’ve heard that before. When it comes to dating them understanding that fact is not enough. Most women want men to pursue them, act interested; make them feel desired and special without having to compromise our self-worth.
Am I right?
I don’t want you to feel at the mercy of men just because you don’t understand them. Men barely understand us yet we assume they hold most of the power, and that’s so not true.
In dating your love life is completely in your hands if you have the confidence and discipline to take control. Maybe knowing a little bit more about the opposite sex will boost your faith in your own desirability.
What I want to share with you is information that I haven’t found in the countless books I’ve read, videos I’ve watched and blogs I’ve perused. I’m not claiming that these are facts about every male in the species but instead general assumptions I’ve made via my experience that you might want to consider.
Men Respond To Simple Communication
If you haven’t heard, women talk more than men. Studies have shown that women use more words a day than men do.
I’m not telling you to talk less, although we all probably could, I’m suggesting being simple and direct with communication.
When you correspond with a man over phone or text, email or Gchat: keep it simple.
I find women include way too many unnecessary details allowing men to be in contact without asking you out! Be direct with a man as much as possible and if you want him to ask you out, don’t hint to it. Tell him!
If all else fails just say, “ I really like our little chats but I’d rather you just ask me out.” This might be forward for some women but it’s the kind of blunt phrase that resonate with men.
Men Don’t Always Say What They Mean
How many times have you heard the advice, “ If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him”?
Sometimes men can be upfront with what they want other times men just say what they mean or feel at the time. If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, fine. Don’t date him as if he’s your one and only. Maintain boundaries, have fun with him and enjoy the courtship.
This is an example of a man saying something just to see how you will respond; it’s a test. Men test women all the time.
You’re allowed to act like the exception as long as you preserve your limits and standards.
A man might say he loves you and treat you like sh*t, let his actions do the talking and if there is confusion, ask about it!
Men Don’t Want You To Sleep With Them Right Away
A man trying to sleep with you is like a kid trying to sneak a piece of candy. Sure they’re going to try, you can’t blame a duck for quacking but it doesn’t mean they want you to.
In fact, most men don’t.
I read an interesting article once about a man’s reaction to one-night stands. No matter how a man might try, he’s incapable of viewing that woman as a possible relationship candidate.
It’s a temptation that you have to avoid.
Men will try to sleep with you on the first or second date, but they don’t want you to give it up to them so easily. It makes them feel like you will give it up to any man who comes along.
It might sound foreign to you but men want to feel special and needed. Men like feeling as if sex with them is special and what you want not just sex in general.
Men Hate When You Look A Mess
You’ve likely heard stories of men who hit on women at gyms or Laundromats when these ladies are looking a hot mess. I hear them often. The majority of experts will say agree it’s because the woman’s guard is down and she’s feeling slightly insecure.
That doesn’t mean this man wants you to look casual when he has a date with you.
A man likes feeling that you tried to look your best for him and if you like him, you should. It’s a great way to say, you’re worth the effort. If you dress up for strangers and go to a nightclub why shouldn’t you pull yourself together for a date, even if you stay in?
Men Like You Way More Than You Like Them In The Beginning
He’s calling you all the time, constantly asking you out and planning wonderful dates. That’s awesome right?!
Unfortunately I’ve found that men get really excited about meeting someone before the woman truly catches on to what’s happening. We women can be skeptics and enter dating carefully.
A man might seem all about you in the beginning and just when you’re ready to like him, things change.
I suggest when you meet a guy you really like just jump all in! He will too! Don’t give up your social calendar; morals and commitments to date him just let him like you.
Let him like you because you’re awesome and don’t question it. He actually does believe he likes you ALOT. And if you go along with the positive feelings he’ll get to know you well enough to realize that his feelings were right.
You don’t have to be a male expert to realize that men are different. You won’t understand everything they do but I hope this helped a little.
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