No one likes to have their time wasted.
Your time is valuable and it should never be abused by others who want your company but little else.
In dating it can seem like a ‘you versus them’ atmosphere. It’s surprisingly difficult to find potential dates that are on the same page as you are, and who want what you want. It can be incredibly confusing when you meet someone who you have chemistry with and spend time with but they send you mixed signals about whether they’re really interested.
How many times have you felt like you were dating someone who had an ulterior motive when it came to dating you? For example, they’re willing to spend time with you when you initiate the contact but never contact you. Or maybe they constantly text you, “let’s get together” but never seem to make themselves available.
Or the typical and ever frustrating hot and cold behavior where the time you spend together seems amazing but weeks can pass without a word.
What the hell are they doing? Playing you, that’s what.
Don’t let your emotions write a story different than the facts.
You might not believe this or accept this but you’re in complete control of what your actions. Another person can only waste the time that you give them. If you’re letting someone waste your time… guess whose fault that is.
When you allow inconsistency in a courtship what you’re actually doing is relying on someone else’s attention to make you happy.
Your life and self-esteem have to be tied to something stronger than a wishy-washy lover whose behavior is screaming, they’re not into you.
At times we just don’t want to believe the signs because the alternative is too depressing. You don’t want to be lonely, and this person seems to like you. I get it, but you have to know that there is better out there for you.
It’s perfectly normal for two people who like each other to make time for each other. It is not normal for you to be at the mercy of someone you like and to spend your time wishing for more attention and priority. If you want to stop the yo-yo behavior of a sometimey love interest then it’s important to set boundaries by applying the following.
Don’t Make Anyone Else’s Schedule A Priority Over Yours
Sometimes people who are trying to play you will ask you to free up your schedule when they know you’re busy just to prove they’re in control of you and that you’ll jump when they say jump. Don’t jump.
Be wary of someone who asks you to constantly neglect your schedule and priorities to spend time with them. If they are not willing to be available on a more convenient day and time then it’s likely they’re playing games with you.
Keep A Strict Date Time Limit
Dinner can turn into a late cocktail then talking on the patio and the next thing you know you’re staying the night or they’ve wormed their way into being your house guest. Don’t do it, hunty.
I don’t care how much fun you’re having when the date is over, it’s over. This person is trying to suck all the time out of you because they know they don’t plan on seeing you again or at least not for a while.
Give them two hours maybe three, if they want more they can come back tomorrow.
Don’t Call Them More Than They Call You
Communication is a two-way street and it’s not fair when one person has to initiate all the contact. If you haven’t heard from a potential date in more than a week when you were expecting to, reach out to them but don’t be surprised to hear a lame excuse for their absence.
You deserve to be pursued or at least be an equal party in the pursuit. It should never feel like you’re chasing them all the time. You should always have an open communication between you and your partner.
If it feels as if you’re strangers at one time and a couple at other times then the inconsistency is a sign that they’re stringing you along and you don’t deserve that.
Date Other People That You Like
Too often we put all of our eggs in one basket. We might go on dates but it’s just to fill our time until the person we’re really interested in comes around. Don’t do that.
Meet more people that you like and if you can’t find them just try harder.
Don’t wait around for anyone, literally. The minute you catch yourself waiting for your pseudo partner to make plans with you, text you or call you before you allot your time to someone else, you’re in trouble.
If a potential date misses an opportunity to see you because they didn’t schedule early enough they will surely learn. If they don’t learn then they’re not really interested. It’s a hard pill to swallow at times but accepting the truth can save you a lot of time.
If you can’t commit to dating people who are truly into dating you then you’re selling yourself way short.
The hardest part is believing that a more interested party will come your way. Its especially difficult when you believe that your options are limited because you haven’t found success in the past. Keep in mind that there is a lid for every pot.
If the person you’re dating isn’t head over heels for don’t blame yourself, just keep looking. I hope this was helpful.