If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish ~ Sam Walton
There are a million ways to say it but if you don’t love yourself, who in the hell is going to love you? Without a healthy self-esteem in dating its incredibly difficult to enjoy the dating process and to win the game.
Instead of trying to over compensate for a lack of confidence I’ve created a few tips to increase your perceived value by acting with confidence even if you don’t have it. What if you could hack self confidence and slightly fake it until you totally made it to loving yourself as you should?
The key to appeal is value. Whether you have the self-esteem you need right now, what you do currently have is something of value to offer other people. The following tips help to increase your perceived value and can give potential dates a sense of your current worth.
Remember this: how you act is who you are.
If you can change your actions to align with a high value person then no matter what you feel internally you will get a message of value across to potential dates.
If you want to have control in your love life you need to show potential dates that you are valuable.
The goal is to show potential dates that they need you, they can’t live without you and regardless of who they were dating, you’re better.
Take Care Of Yourself
No one is as mean to us as we are to ourselves. Have you ever heard the saying: hurt people, hurt people? Think of all the negative self talk and criticism that you berate yourself with on a daily basis and make the definitive decision to change.
Treat yourself like your best friend by taking better care of yourself which might include healthy eating, exercise, positive reinforcements and affirmations. Make yourself feel good so you’re not waiting for someone else to do it for you.
Send the message that you can take care of someone else by showing yourself that same love and care. Dress well and increase your personal standards for how you want to live. Don’t make the mistake of feeling miserable and depresed because you’re single or potential dates will assume that being with you is going to be a depressing and miserable experience.
Do everything you can to take better care of yourself and treat yourself the best you can. Having value means treating yourself with value.
Don’t wait until you’re in a relationship to visit the restaurants that you love or partake in the activities that make you happy. Make time in your schedule for enjoyable activities that give you some quality time alone. Being with ourselves is the best way to evaluate our value.
What do you like about time with you? That’s the pleasurable experience that you’ll share with potential dates. The more enrichment that you can add to your life the more you’ll have to offer someone else.
Make a weekly standing date with you and treat yourself right. The best way to get a partner in your life is to have a life to begin with.
Give Of Yourself
It’s very rare these days to receive a true gift without any stipulations. Even the cost of dinner can make you feel like something is owed to your date. When you enter a courtship wanting anything at all, be it companionship, sex, or a commitment, you’re likely not to get what you want.
When you meet a potential date you should approach the relationship as icing on the cake to your already fulfilling life.
You should never feel like you need this person, more so you should never make them feel that way. You have to find joy in making other people happy, even if you don’t get much else out of it. You need to be the one to give. Give compliments. Give hugs. Give your time and attention. Be generous and don’t expect anything in return.
It’s our human nature to want to do for those who do for us. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t reciprocate then take that as a sign that they’re not for you. Move on. Dating you is a luxury, an honor and a gift. Share that gift generously and don’t let the fear of getting less in return scare you.
I hope this was helpful.