If You Want A Relationship, Let Men Pursue You

Are you tired of being single? Do you want a boyfriend?

As much as I wish more single women could enjoy dating and their single life, so much so that it would take a miracle to pry them away, I understand that there comes a time when you want a commitment.

You want stability in a partner that makes you feel good. You want a man. I get it.

What I’ve noticed about single women is that many are afraid of taking a step back and letting men pursue them.

When I urge women to let men pursue them, they’re often hesitant and full of excuses. The two most popular being:

Men are shy

I intimidate men

There’s a crazy science about getting what you want out of life, when you commit to something, its likely to happen.

Tell yourself that you’re only going to date men who pursue you.

You should only date the men who approach you, call you, ask you on a date, follow-up with you, and then ask you out again. Don’t trick yourself into believing that you should go after what you want or “help a man out” by offering your name and number.

Yes of course, there was that one woman that one time, who met the man of her dreams by slipping him her digits, YOU ARE NOT HER!

You are NOT that woman who can go after every man you find attractive and successfully lure him into a relationship. If you were you would and you certainly wouldn’t need this blog.

Women who pursue men enjoy it, have control issues or are successful at it. In any case, that aint’ you!

I don’t believe women should ask men on dates and I don’t believe that a woman should call any man she wants a serious relationship with.

I will be real with you, 100%. I’ve called men. I’ve asked men out. I’ve offered my name and number on a platter and made dating me the difficulty level of Candyland. I went on several dates and after all that, didn’t end up with one boyfriend.

Women have to chill with the idea that dating is so hard that we need to make it easy on men by doing all or most of the pursuing, inviting and initiating.

Stop making excuses for a courtship that is bullshit.

When you meet a man who is interested in dating you he will call you, he will ask you out and he will do so respectfully. If you don’t believe that you’re worth that type of attention or effort you’re wrong.

Not only are you worth it, men are happy to do it because you are worth it. They’re excited and proud to be with a woman who has standards and requirements.

If a man doesn’t want to do what you require in order to date you then he might not be the man for you and that’s ok. Think of the time you’ll save yourself by letting the behavior speak for itself.

Thoughts?

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  5 comments for “If You Want A Relationship, Let Men Pursue You

  1. soja
    October 10, 2014 at 8:29 AM

    Great advice except for the fact that it does not work. If I were to follow your advice I would have no relationship at all. I NEVER get seriously pursued by men.

    • ennis
      October 10, 2014 at 9:57 PM

      Ms. Soja – Take heart! You have not been taught how to lie, trick and manipulate.Just being yourself is going to land you your great guy because you are NOT going to play stupid games, but honestly let him know that you are interested.

      • October 13, 2014 at 11:20 AM

        Thank you for the comment Ennis! There are no tricks to attraction. If a woman wants the attention of a man, his pursuit and desire there are no tricks, lies or manipulations involved. You can be yourself but you have to be really, really good at letting other people know who that person is. And you have to be comfortable with the idea that you will attract some people that you don’t want while attracting those that you do.

    • October 13, 2014 at 11:18 AM

      Thank you for the comment, Soja. I know for a fact that attraction is what motivates human beings to initiate contact. If you aren’t attracting the right attention from the right men then what you need is a better strategy and method of attraction. Since we attract who we are being positive, approachable, helpful, and open will attract men who are confidant and willing to pursue women. If you never attract men, start by deciding that you want to. Think about the type of men that you want to attract then be open to their attention.

  2. Ryan
    February 7, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    Your opinion reflects everything that is wrong with society. What about men who are shy and can’t approach people? Some men simply can’t, they have a condition called social anxiety that prevents them from doing so, and to “man up” and “grow a pair” is not easy like flicking a switch. Why do they have to get left in the dust and live life alone because of their condition?! It’s a TWO WAY STREET.

    The funny thing is you women seem to want your cake and eat it too. Women need to, no, they HAVE TO pursue men just as much. You want equal rights, well this is what comes with it. End of discussion

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