Why You Don’t Get What You Want Out Of Dating
Often times when people don’t get what they want it’s because they haven’t defined that want clearly.
You want a relationship, a new career, a new car, stronger friendships or more money but you haven’t really decided, in clear detail, what kind and under what circumstances.
It might not be fair to say that most people stand in their own way when it comes to success, but lets be real: most people stand in their own way when it comes to success.
We are afraid to define what we want because that means admitting that we want it. Shock, horror, gasp! You might need to clutch the pearls before you admit not only what you want but also why you want it.
While I’m mostly speaking about love, dates, hot sex and passion, there are other “wants” in our lives. Wants that extend far beyond having things, but more so about how having what we want will make us feel.
While you could generalize that most people want more money, many people just want the feeling “having enough money” brings.
It isn’t so much that we want a relationship, a new career, a new car, stronger friendships or even more money. Most of us just want to stop feeling what’s its like not to have those things.
You want to stop feeling lonely, alone, unwanted because you don’t have a relationship. You want to stop feeling under appreciated, over worked, and stressed out because of the career that you do have. It isn’t about a new car, it’s that your current car is a piece of shit or a headache and a half.
I think you get the picture.
There is a big difference between truly wanting something, enough to define it and just not wanting what you have. Many of us just don’t want what we have.
It isn’t enough.
When it comes to actually getting what you want it takes more than just discomfort. It takes a strong, unwavering, clear-cut desire for what exactly you must have. That you need!
My advice to you is to make that choice, now about what type of relationship you deeply desire and with what type of person. Don’t fall into the trap of that’s not what your neighbor did, or sister did or best friend did before they found the love of their life.
They ain’t you!
I am suggesting that today, you make a list, paint a picture and get absolutely specific about the person you see in your future. Don’t hold back. Remember as you think of what you need avoid the trap of how you don’t want to feel.
Example. If you want someone tall because you want to feel safe or protected, simple be clear that you want to feel protected. If you want someone beautiful because you want to feel envied, well you’re just a fool, but you get the idea.
So it’s really about why you want what you want and how it should feel when you get it. If you can name it, you can claim so lets start naming away.