If you’re like me there have been times in your dating life when you thought the person you had feelings for was ‘out of your league’. Whether you were getting to know them or admiring them from a far, you believed or accepted that they were just too good for you.
That phrase in itself is incredibly self-effacing.
It’s not like they’ve saved orphans in Africa, cured world hunger or developed the next instagrm. In fact, its likely that they’ve never made any major impacts to society what so ever but to you, they are better than anyone you’ve liked before thus, better than you.
In short, you feel inferior, not good enough and downright insecure. All feelings that suck, big time. But why do you feel this way?
Categorically you’re just as amazing as they are. On paper you’re a catch, and not so bad in person, yet you still feel this better potential date could be dating someone better than you. I don’t have the statistics but generally speaking, I’m sure we’ve all been there. Whether it was age, looks, tax brackets or education we’ve all had that feeling.
What would someone like that, want with someone like me.
Feeling insecure with certain people doesn’t make you an insecure person. It just means that you’re afraid. You don’t want to get hurt, you don’t want to be rejected and there is a high chance of that happening.
Or so you think.
But before your nightmare of being laughed at or left at the altar takes hold, think of this; the person you think is so awesome could be flattered by your attention.
This amazing person, once given the chance to know you, might actually like you.
It’s likely that they have looked for someone that’s a catch as long as you have. And… you’ve crossed paths for a reason, so if the universe thinks you have a shot, why don’t you? So you want to build up the courage to date someone who just moments ago you thought was way too good for you, here are a few tips.
Let them decide.
If the person you’re into is dating you, they might actually like you. If someone is spending time with you and enjoying it, embrace that truth. You may feel unsure of yourself underneath but if they aren’t rejecting you, that’s a good sign. Don’t count yourself out, unless or until you are counted out.
Be really patient.
Not just a little patient, but Gandhi patient. You might have found the “one” and you know it in your heart, that’s awesome. Just don’t blow a good courtship by wanting too much too soon. Just because your potential date doesn’t want the same things as you at the same time, doesn’t equal rejection. It just means pump the breaks. They might just want you to really get to know them before you decide how much you like them.
You really like the person you’re dating. Maybe you haven’t begun to date them yet because you’re afraid they will reject you. You might feel insecure but you can act with confidence by just being honest with them. Let the cat out of the bag.
Simply say, “I don’t know you that well, I would love to get to know you but I’m not sure I’m your type. But I would love to take you out or spend some time together.”