It’s likely that you’re single because you have an idea of the person you think you can date. It’s like a job you think you think you’re qualified for.
I’m sure if you haven’t gone to medical school you would be less likely to take a position in the field of medicine.
Dating is no different.
Single people place themselves in leagues, categories, types, boxes etc. We pigeon hold ourselves and essentially hold ourselves back from dating who we truly deserve because we consider candidates, well, not as candidates at all.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve suggested a potential date to someone who immediately came up with an excuse for why things wouldn’t work. If you have done it yourself, shame on you.
Too often singles think that others are just out of their league. Since we seem to have our future partners picked and planned we assume other singles do too. Many of us don’t think we’re someone’s type because we have low self-esteem and poor self-image.
We sell ourselves short.
In the past, I’ve been guilty of trying to hard. I am very hard on myself sometimes even though I believe that I’m a catch. Maybe it’s behavioral or the pressure from society to be perfect but there are times that have to I remind myself ‘I’m enough’.
You should too.
Not in a kumbaya, everyone is special, hold a hand and beat a drum kind of way, but in a way that’s realistic.
What more can you do to be better than you are today? We all spend so much time trying so hard to impress people who are just as flawed and imperfect as we are. It’s time to get a grip. Who you are doesn’t stand in the way; it’s who you think you are.
Accept once and for all that you can date anyone. You can love anyone and be loved in return by those you’re willing to give the opportunity. But your insecurities are doing you more harm than good. Instead of screening, your intuition is blocking potential dates because you’re afraid of rejection or failure.
I’m not going to say just believe you can and you can. But you have to first believe you can date the people that you find attractive and interesting. The only question you should be wondering is how, but it isn’t impossible.