Online dating can start off as fun and exciting. If you haven’t tried it that means you haven’t failed so the possibilities are endless.
You might get so excited browsing profiles and checking for winks and emails that you disregard the fact that
1. The same people online are the same people in the real world
2. If you haven’t made strong connections dating in general, your online prospects will fizzle the minute you meet in person.
Many people try online dating as a last-ditch effort for finding potential dates. For whatever reasons you aren’t meeting eligible singles, or enough to satisfy your search for love the traditional way, so you go online to broaden your search.
It makes perfect sense.
Desperation rarely yields results.
I relate it to waiting for a check. When you need the money, is the one in a million instance where your impending check is mysteriously, “lost in the mail”. If you attempt to date online because your offline attempts have fallen flat, chances of success are slim.
The best reasons to date online are: to save time, and to meet potential dates from multiple cities.
I started my online dating experience as most people do, desperate for a date. A few years back, when the buzz of online dating was just a hum I found my love life in despair. I signed up with Match.com, paid my monthly fees then waited for Prince Charming to inbox me. It never happened.
That experience left me with a negative perception of online dating. While 5% of marriages are a result of online dating, the best way to meet the love of your life is still the good old-fashioned way; through someone you know.
I didn’t realize, as many singles don’t, why online dating never worked for me and I found myself still in despair after the fact.
I think online dating can be a great tool in dating overall, but let me share a few tips that will make your experience a tad more successful.
Don’t be desperate.
If you’re trying online dating because you feel in despair about your love life, don’t. The terms commitment minded and desperate are often interchangeable when it comes to dating online. While you see yourself as ‘sick of the bullshit’ and ‘ready to settle down’ potential dates see you as a red alert, stage 5-clinger.
Don’t just “go on dates”.
I’ve seen it happen a million times. You message someone online, and then you exchange emails or phone numbers. You arrange a date. You meet, have no chemistry then never speak again. Rinse and repeat.
The advantage to dating online is the ability to speak to and email with someone, even multiple people before you decide to go on a date. Chances are you will like someone more in person once you know a little about them first.
When you find someone online that peaks your interest, take time to talk on the phone. You can understand their sense of humor, learn their personality and establish a level of comfort.
When you’re commitment-minded, taking the time to get to know someone is worth is. If you just need a date, online dating isn’t going to help your search for love or a relationship.
Keep dating offline. Online dating takes time. Just because you’ve set up a profile doesn’t mean meeting someone off-line is out of the question. While you might spend hours searching profiles, there are still several potential dates in the real world that you have yet to connect with. Be open to meeting the person that is right for you at all times, not just when you’re in front of a computer.