If you haven’t heard, the gorgeous Avatar actress amicably split from long time boyfriend and fiancé Keith Britton.
Another beautiful woman is single and somewhere Jennifer Aniston is sighing in relief. I’m not sure which is worse, breaking up after 72 days of marriage or 11 years of cohabitation.
No matter how many times it’s proven that even seemingly solid relationships end, single people are determined to only date people they could see themselves marrying. Single people have convinced themselves that they will know when someone is the “One”.
You think you will know when you find the right person for you. You think you are a good judge of who you can spend the rest of your life with. You are waiting for this “right” person and you will know them when you see them, right?
I’m here to tell you that you may not know, truthfully it’s likely that you won’t and that has to be okay.
The judgments I see people making before they are willing to go on one date are ridiculous. The same single people who were wrong about every other person they’ve dated, the reason they’re single in the first place, so adamantly believe that when they meet the “One” they will know.
But when will you know? And isn’t it more likely that you’ll figure out someone isn’t the one before you figure out they are?
When you have the opportunity to go on a potential date do you stop yourself because ‘you can tell’ this person isn’t right for you. Or do you just ‘know’ that he or she isn’t your type. Worse, do you assume that some people just wouldn’t be into you?
I’m a dating expert and even I couldn’t tell you who is right for who based on superficial characteristics. Single men and women are so anxious when it comes to finding the “One” that we lose sight of what’s more important than knowing someone is the one; knowing someone. We miss valuable opportunities to make connections with others based on the concept of not wanting to waste time. This idea permeates every decision we make in dating until we’re sitting in front of online profiles sifting through people like the kitten heel category on Zappos.com
For 11 years Zoe Saldana held to the hope that her long time boyfriend was her soul mate. You’re not even willing to give someone one date.
Single people seem so sure that they know who is right for them when by proven history its obvious that they don’t.
For a good many years, Zoe assumed she would spend the rest of her life with Keith and live as an un-phased, un-Hollywood couple and be happy as can be. Somewhere in the game plan there was a change and it turns out, they were both wrong about each other. Now they’re both single.
The next time you meet a potential date, someone who you like or who likes you don’t write them off. Look into their character, try to find a connection and remind yourself that you’ve been wrong about people before.
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