There are many experts that will always tell you what not to do in dating.
From their point of view it makes sense. Every situation is different and if someone were to tell you, step by step, what to do in dating, it might not apply to your situation. The information might not be useful or effective and this expert might lose their credibility.
Well, I’m going to break the rules and tell you the [dating] truth. Why because think of it like changing a tire, or learning to drive. Every car is different but once you know the basics you can navigate your way through the particulars and come out successful. That is what I believe in when it comes to dating men. Yes, men are different and so are situations but I have mastered the very basics of what I believe is necessary in attracting men and I think they work.
You don’t have to follow my advice, of course. So let’s imagine you are engaged in conversation with a man that you don’t know. Let’s disregard how it started. You are speaking with a stranger and just after you say hello you want to make sure that he will:
1. Take your number,
2. Call you the following day,
3. Ask you on a date,
4. Proceed to date you until you lose interest.
When I date men that is exactly what happens. I want the same to happen to you. And go…
Smile. A lot.
Smiling says that you’re happy, you’re engaged, and you’re enjoying yourself. Smiling is the first step to flirting and if you can’t flirt with men, you fail. You will encourage him to smile if you can talk about light-hearted and funny topics. If you start upon a serious topic, you better have a good ass reason. There are very few instances that you will need to speak about weighted subjects when you first meet a man. If you can’t find a way to change the subject, pause, look away, turn your head towards him, smile, then take two to three glances toward the floor.
I want to let women in a little secret; just because you’re having a conversation doesn’t mean you have to fill every second with words. Actions and body language speak very loud. Use meaningful pauses and eye contact to your advantage. Smiling says, I’m happy but it also implies that you’re genuine, available, interested and easy-going.
Many women just don’t give men enough compliments. You have to say very nice things to a man to make him feel at ease. Sure, if you’re pretty enough a man could careless but giving anyone a genuine compliment can make all the difference in how they feel about you.
But because you are going to bust his balls a little later in the conversation, compliments are a great way to encourage him to seek your approval. Yes, I know it sounds like an odd phrase but in a conversation, someone is always looking to be validated. They are looking to be right. You want a man to want your approval or to think that he is winning you over. You both have some sort of agenda trust me. You might come to learn that you’re both just interested in getting to know each other, that’s fantastic. However one of you will have to take control of the situation, I’m suggesting it be you.
Many women are afraid to say or do the wrong thing, let me tell you now, get over it. What you say and do is a reflection of who you are. If a man doesn’t like it now he isn’t going to like it a month later. Sarcasm is a handy tool in that little tactic called ball busting. Why do men like it? Because that is how they communicate to each other and nothing wins a man over faster than a woman who seems to act like a man. As much as I try to stay away from sarcasm because I already say things that sound like I’m joking when I’m serious, it’s an easy way to be funny.
It’s sometimes a man’s only way.
Talk about an action.
No matter where you meet a man there is always an opportunity to talk about an action. Where are you coming from? What are you doing after this? What are you making for dinner? Where do you usually do (name an activity)? If you don’t talk about doing things, he won’t think about doing things with you. You have to find a reason to exchange numbers and you have to make a connection with why he should call you. If you don’t talk about actions and activities, you will lose your segue to let’s hang out.
It gives a man a reason to call you. See many women just chitchat. They talk without purpose. When you are flirting with a man and you want him to call you, he’s looking for any excuse he can find to do so. Maybe he has the confidence to say, “This is so and so, we met at that place the other night, remember?” Not likely.
A man is more likely to call you to follow-up on something that was said in the conversation even if it was tentative plans to go on a date.
If you can secure a date before you leave his presence, do so. Sometimes you have to imply a date. That’s okay too. You must convey to this man that the only reason you’re talking to him is because you think he’s cute and you would like to go out sometime.
If you have to use that exact line do it, it’s better to be rejected right there and then than to have any false hope. This is the [dating] truth. If you don’t have any game, you need to get some. Why do you think companies have so many policies? If they relied on adults to just do what they thought was best or right, they would have a deluge of lawsuits on their hands. When it comes to interactions, winging it is a horrible idea.
You should have a goal, an intention and a means of turning that intention into reality.
You should not talk to another man who you’re interested in without him feeling the same about you. You should not leave another conversation without giving a man your phone number and knowing with absolute certainty he’s going to call. You should never for one second, wonder what went wrong. The next time you talk to a good-looking man it should be successful and lead to a date. If I didn’t think you could do it, I wouldn’t even waste my time. You are capable of taking full control of your dating life, this is just one place to start.
What is your biggest challenge talking to men? Leave your comments below.