There is nothing in the world that I could compare to the wonderfulness of being single.
If I didn’t describe your current single experience, I hate to break it to you but you’re doing something wrong. When I say that being single isn’t easy, I mean it. To be fair, law school isn’t easy but I know plenty of lawyers who had the time of their life despite the hard work they had to put in. Just because it isn’t always easy doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.
Some people may not enjoy their single life because:
They never expected to be single
They’re disappointed with the prospects
They’ve had bad relationships in the past that have left them emotionally wounded
They have a hard time meeting people
They’re friends aren’t single
I could go on but despite the multiple reasons to think of being single as a curse there are more reasons than not that it isn’t. The most important being, you’re not in an unhappy relationship. Thank God for that!
There is the notion that if you love being single you’re anti-relationships. Or if you want a relationship you haven’t quite embraced the importance of doing bad all by yourself.
Recently on my Facebook fan page, a reader commented that they loved being single. I specifically put that word in italics because for the last two years I have been desperately trying to get singles to enjoy life with or without a relationship. Only to come to the sad realization that they just don’t want to.
You can enjoy the hell out of your single life but just because you don’t shower, with the toaster plugged in beside the tub, doesn’t necessarily mean that you love being single.
It isn’t that I don’t want singles to enjoy their freedom, of course I do. I think dating is awesome. I just want singles to have a clear idea of what it is about their freedom, they’re enjoying.
What I love about dating is far beyond the freedom of being able to share your time with who you choose without having to “check in” with anyone. It’s far beyond the butterflies you get from the newness of dating. And the happy anxiety you get just before each first experience with every new date.
A first date, a first kiss, a first sleep over, the first time they meet your friends etc.
Nothing feels better than hearing the text alert of multiple people who’s mind you’re on and who want to see you soon. It’s refreshing to know at any given time someone will try their best to win you over.
That feeling of being pursued or wanted is irreplaceable. The thought of knowing what it means to someone who you chose to spend your time with them, is fantastic.
However it doesn’t always last because in order to stay single you have to engage with other singles who want to stay that way as well. There are times when, despite the fun you’re having, you have to stop seeing someone who wants a relationship when you don’t.
While singles can relish in the amenities of their singlehood, it comes with a price. It takes two to tango and not everyone wants to play your singlin’ and mingling game with you.
That’s when it’s hard. But again, I want you to enjoy your freedom. I want you to have wild nights and hot dates and flirt with everyone in the room.
What I don’t want is for single people to forget the importance of balance. While you can like the carefree lifestyle, don’t assume without commitment it has to stay superficial. There are lots of ways to build deep bonds and express love. Just make sure you find them, while you’re having fun of course.
Did I miss something? What do you love or hate about being single, leave a comment below.
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