You don’t have to be good looking to find a relationship.
In fact, it can very frustrating to see others who don’t seem “as good” as us, in the loving relationship that we’ve always wanted. Hell, even Charles Manson got engaged just a few short years ago. So what does he have that you don’t?
The confidence to know that there is no competition.
It might seem that other people are in competition with you, for the love and attention of your perfect mate, but they’re not. The inferiority that we feel, and the competition that we feel in dating, is a delusion.
So how do you compete with the better looking people around you?
The short answer is, you can’t. The long answer is: you really can’t. And the truth is: you don’t have to.
I believe that there is a lid for every pot, and once you understand how attraction works, you’ll never have a problem getting your dream partner interested. Or anyone for that matter.
For women who struggle in competing with others that they deem more attractive, you have to realize that dating isn’t about how good you look. Dating is all about how you make someone feel. Dating might seem easier when you’re good-looking, and well put together, but that’s only because the well put together woman spends less time worrying about how other people see her, and more time focused on the guy she wants.
You can get any man to find you attractive if you make him feel good. That is something that you can control. Never automatically assume that a man will want the most beautiful woman in the room. If you assume that another woman is prettier, and that guys will want her over you, then you’re half-right.
Men will want her but men will want you too.
The key to winning over any man, even the one who seems out of your league, is to remember the following.
Regardless if you consider yourself, pretty, ugly, funny, smart, or dumb, it really doesn’t matter as long as you’re around. How you see yourself isn’t the way other people will see you. If you’re around a man that you want long enough, he will consider dating you.
The opportunity to date him is yours for the taking, but you have to be willing to take it. He’s not stopping you, you’re stopping yourself. If you’re shy, meek, sloppy or lame then no amount of time together will create desire. If you are fun, sexy, and self-confidant, then a more attractive woman would have to work twice as hard to steal him away.
Why? Because men appreciate a woman who can keep him stimulated no matter what he is doing.
Men like women who can get out of their own head and actually place her undivided attention on him. If you work together, share mutual activities, belong to the same gym, or have other shared interests that will put you by his side, then you have as great a chance, as any other woman, to win him over.
You just have to muster the confidence to try.
MOST MEN DON’T DATE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
Some of the world’s most beautiful woman are single. Jennifer Aniston, Naomi Campbell, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez just to name a few. Beauty is in the the eyes of the beholder. While you are seeing someone as you’re competition, your crush is appreciating the beauty in all women.
Although studies have scientifically proven symmetry makes you more beautiful, the man you want to date probably hasn’t read that study. In fact, a good-looking woman can actually intimidate men.
A relationship needs attraction and chemistry, but those aren’t created by looks at all. A man wants to feel needed and wanted. A woman who attracts a lot of attention doesn’t always make that possible. There are several negative connotations associated to women who are perceived as “very beautiful”.
Beauty can launch feelings of insecurity, jealousy and inferiority in men that make a relationship impossible.
This might sound trite but men are okay with just a pretty girl. Don’t take that negatively. Don’t assume that the man you desire feels attractive or secure in his own appearance either.
We are all fighting the same battle to like ourselves, some are just further along.
If a man finds you attractive then you are his “type.” What you believe to be a prettier woman might be, but it doesn’t mean that he wants to date her.
YOU COULD BE PRETTIER
No matter how satisfied you are with your looks, you could be better looking. Accepting your own beauty is a journey. Once you develop your own standard for beauty, then meeting it is the most important thing you can do for your confidence.
However, not meeting the standard that you’ve set on what is beautiful can make you feel incredibly insecure. If you allow yourself to fall short of what you consider to be beautiful, you will never feel beautiful. You will always feel in competition with other women.
It is your own personal standards that dictate your confidence.
If you’re not secure in what you have to offer, then how can you expect someone else to want it. It is your job to feel like enough. Accept yourself for what you have, and not for what you think someone else wants.
Accept what you can’t change, and change what you can. You might not be the size you want tomorrow, but you can feel better about the size you are, today.
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WANT DIFFERENT MEN THAN YOU
We should all consider ourselves beautiful. Personally, I have dealt with jealous women who felt like I was going to take their man. Truth was: I didn’t want their man. In fact, I have never found myself in competition for a man with any woman. Whether you are physically attractive, you can be beautiful.
Beautiful women are confident, and are not likely to compete for a man. If it appears that a man is choosing looks over substance, then it’s not a man that a high-value woman, like yourself, should want.
Chances are unless you’re vying for the handsome, wealthy, 6’4 professional athlete, actor, or multi-millionaire entrepreneur, there is little to no competition for the man that you want. In fact, give the man you’re after enough credit to believe in his taste in women.
If he’s choosing a life partner based on looks alone, he might not be the right person for you.
Beauty comes from a sense of gratitude for all things beautiful. If you assume other women are better looking, then be the first to compliment them and surround yourself with those you find attractive. You will be more attractive by proxy.
If you find yourself feeling competitive with other women, recognize that who you want wants you for you. Accentuate the better qualities that you possess, and leave the rest to opportunity meeting preparation.
There will always be beautiful women in the world, but it doesn’t make them your competition. Just consider yourself one of them.
I hope this was helpful.
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