How To Sell Yourself When You’re Single- And It Ain’t Short
“Sales are contingent upon the attitude of the salesman, not the attitude of the prospect.”
William Clement Stone
I’m an over-thinker. Letting things happen naturally is not something I’m good at. Part of the reason I love the concept of meditation is because it allows me to feel like I’m doing something without having to actually do something.
When I started to have great success in dating, going on many dates with wonderful people, it was all because I took control. I understand that controlling other people is bad and planning every aspect of life is also a fail, but to just let love happen wasn’t a talent I possessed.
The biggest question of all, that every man and woman needs to answer if they’re single is why should anyone date you. You might be likeable, funny, honest and caring but what sets you apart from every other human being?
It may sound wrong or unnatural to some but you have to look at yourself as a product. The marketing industry has taught us very well how to “sell” to the masses.
When you’re single having options are your biggest asset. You want to have as many as you can. You want to have the final say whether a relationship will happen or not. When you are dating, you want to be the one to either say ‘this goes further’ or ‘this stops here.’
I guess a kinder word is seduction. Unfortunately, that word has many negative connotations and is always somehow linked to sex. Sell may not be the most desirable term either but it is at least somewhat accurate.
So how do you sell yourself, do you stand on the side of the freeway like they do with oranges? Of course not! You sell, the way that Coke or Pepsi sells, you become so synonymous with a lifestyle that whoever wants that life will essentially want you.
Beauty, sophistication, culture, these are elements of lifestyles that many singles are looking for. If a woman is looking to have several children a man either has to be fit, healthy to reproduce or wealthy, capable of providing for a family. The way you sell yourself to such a woman is by proving to be strong in either category.
1. Look the part. You don’t have to be any certain shape, size, color, age or race to be well dressed. Clear skin, white teeth, a smile, neat and tailored clothes are for everyone. Consider how many times Pepsi has come out with a new can, far more times than Coke. Some people buy products solely because of packaging, they are willing to invest in it because they like how it looks.
2. Share you best qualities. Some singles have a hard time telling others what they do. They don’t want to brag or seem boastful so they down play their best qualities. You need to broadcast that sh*t point blank. The ability to do what you do is in direct correlation to who you are. It speaks to your intelligence, discipline and ambitions, why are you keeping it on the low?
3. Give first. Even if it’s just compliments, act from a place of giving. How many times have you been hit on, only to have the person ask you a ton of questions? How annoying. So often singles want the other person to do the song and dance. Take the opportunity whether you are approaching someone or if you do the approaching to paint yourself in the most amazing light. You want the other person to know more about you than you know about them. Be happy, joyful, and energetic, give a good performance.
4. Always have a purpose. I can’t stress enough how I hate people who just want to have useless conversation. When you are idly chatting with strangers you are taking their energy and you are using their attention to make yourself feel important. This is the ultimate sign of low self-esteem. Every conversation has to have a purpose. If you can’t gain anything from speaking to a person, don’t speak with them. It’s okay to remain strangers.
5. Offer something. Men can get away with this easier because you can suggest a date on your dime. If you’re a woman what you can offer needs to seem creative and harmless. Some ideas are to offer to show them around the city, offer to suggest a great service a hairdresser, a body shop or a good dog walker whatever. You can also offer to share more about what you do, anything that says, I want to give you something.
Many singles don’t realize how much potential every encounter may hold. They are mindlessly involving themselves in conversations and interactions hoping to get a desired outcome. I was never one to subject my love life to chance. It may seem too contrived for some but it works.
Happy singles are those who feel like they hold the cards, those who feel in control. Selling yourself is the best way to gain that security. Would you rather be a seller with 5 bidders or one of five bidders?