“Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.”- Yul Brynner
I think everyone can agree that love makes you crazy. It makes even the smartest women do the dumbest things. Remember the doctor who tried to climb down her ex-boyfriends chimney and died or the astronaut who drove cross-country in a diaper to confront her lover’s girlfriend.
Being intelligent can make you more interesting but it’s more important to be smart about love and men. I came across the article, ‘Six Disadvantages of Being Smart’ on the blog practicalpickup.com where the author talks about how some intelligent men get in their own way when it comes to dating. Women, I feel, do the same thing.
Men don’t really like smart women, let me explain. No man goes out to a bar, to a nightclub, to a strip club for that matter to meet an intelligent woman. If a man starts flirting with you in line at Starbucks, it isn’t because you look “intelligent”. (even if you are wearing glasses) It’s more important to express to a man that you’re friendly, kind, funny, attentive and genuine than it is to prove you’re a Rhodes scholar.
Being intelligent isn’t about proving to a man your comprehensive knowledge of nuclear physics or finance; it’s about a complete understanding of a subject, him. If you’re smart about men, you’ll realize that there are better ways to display your talents and intelligence. When he falls in love with you that will be proof enough that he’s smart but you’re smarter.
Being smart about men isn’t the same as being book smart. (obviously) If you feel like you’re an intelligent woman and you have the documents to prove it, good for you. The mistake some “smart” women make is letting their book smarts get in the way of their social intelligence. While there are many intelligent men out there, what every smart person should know is being charismatic is just as important as being intelligent. So I find that some intelligent women make the following mistakes when it comes to attracting and interacting with men.
Thinking you shouldn’t be beautiful. Just because a lot of so-called beautiful women are dumb in pop culture doesn’t mean being smart means being ugly. Caring about what you look like isn’t the ultimate betrayal of feminism and the female intelligence. Feeling beautiful is an essential part of being a woman. Makeup and fashion aside, embracing the way you look and appreciating your features enough to want to let them shine are the ultimate signs of self-confidence. Intelligent women can sometimes demean the importance of beauty but at the end of the day do you want a man who isn’t attracted to your body only your mind?
Always proving a point. A big mistake so-called “intelligent” women are constantly making is feeling the need to prove their point. When someone makes a statement that you disagree with or you know for a fact isn’t true don’t give your opinion unless you’re asked. When you are asked share the abridged version, not the dissertation you wrote on the subject. You may come across as smart but you won’t come across as fun.
Credential dropping. I didn’t go to college. When I know something I don’t attribute it to the political science class I had freshman year or the environmental studies course I took in Italy while studying abroad. Women who are constantly reminding you, (or whoever will listen) of what degrees they have from what college or university don’t impress men. Here’s a newsflash: men are easily impressed. They’re yet to figure out that women are allowed into college. Men are more impressed by strippers who can make it clap. What you do, who you know, and where you graduated from only impress men who are looking to use your credentials to make themselves seem important.
Inability to give a good sound bite. I don’t want to say some smart women don’t know how to shut the f*ck up but some of you just don’t. When you meet a man you want him to want to get to know more about you. This is not interview time. If a topic arises that you know a lot about don’t share everything you know. Give a quick preview, a sound bite, a hint of what you know. If this man wants to know more, he’ll have to take you on a date or call you on the phone. He’ll have to know more about you before you go spilling the intellectual goods.
Putting down other women. If you want to make a woman who is a six look like an eleven talk about her in front of a man. Putting another women down who seems less intelligent than you really only makes you look like the dumb one. It’s negative, it’s un-ladylike, it’s pretentious and it’s judgmental. It doesn’t matter if you come across a woman who doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together, talking about it makes you seem intimidated by her. Praise other women. Find something good to say even when the man is bating you to say something catty. Don’t play, that game- you’re too smart for that.