The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask~ Jim Morrison
Woman are really complicated, men are not. That’s the first truth that you should accept in the real dating world. I can understand why men have trouble-decoding women because women are indeed a lot more complex.
Gasp, faint, swoon how could I say such a thing? Because I am a woman and I know how overwhelming it is to be completely absorbed by emotions and demands.
I know what its like having to deal with catty, undermining, competitive and insecure females. I know that dating should be really easy for women because we have what men want (the goodies) yet women are so intricate they make dating feel akin to neurosurgery.
Typically I would never advise the single world to be exactly like me or do exactly what I do. The last thing I want, is to create an environment where its my way or the highway but what is truly lacking on the dating scene today is one huge dose of reality, so here it is.
You’ve been living in a delusional world and I want to tell you The Dating Truth.
Okay, let me start with the positive. You are meant to find complete and total love. You are meant for unbridled happiness. Not because you are a wonderful person, I’m sure you’re fantastic, but because the universe can only create. Not good things, not bad things, just things and its your own perspective that determines which is which.
That being said, the reality is no one has to be nice to you just because you’re you.
I can’t tell you how many people I know who feel that they can look a mess, someone else can look hot like fire but they want the same attention and opportunity. Even though they aren’t as attractive as this person, this other person has straight teeth, you don’t have straight teeth but you want to be treated the same way.
If someone doesn’t like you, they don’t have to like you and they don’t need a reason not to like you either. If they ignore you, make you feel lower than the dirt on their shoe or look at you sideways when you try to approach them, it’s their right.
No one owes you anything in the dating world. Everyone wants to get to the right person as quickly as possible. If they waste time on your ass, it’s exactly that a waste. No one has to stop and pause because you’re a human being.
Some people will never date anyone fat, ugly, short, black, red-haired, broke etc. There is no affirmative action in dating. If someone says you aren’t their type, guess what? “You’re not their type!”
I don’t care what other adjective you want to substitute to make yourself feel better but just because you want to look past labels doesn’t mean anyone else has to, or will. Single men and women aren’t thinking about political correctness, they’re thinking about sex. You have to accept that the reality is everyone is looking for the best they can get and you should too.
Which brings me to my last point, just because you like someone doesn’t mean they like you back. There is a slang phrase that I use from time to time that feels appropriate to this concept. Don’t be confused just cause they fux with you. Someone might put up with you, take your calls and let you do things to for them but you can never assume that because someone is spending time with you that they actually have feelings for you. Call the sensitivity police because how could someone be so mean. The offer of a free meal will do that.
The greatest truth that you should embrace about dating is that you are in total control of the outcome, whether your experience is awesome or complete failure. You have to know what you want and go after it, seek the truth. Ask the tough questions and want the real answers. You can only be fooled if you want to be.