What Every Man Wants- How To Make Him Feel Like A Man

I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it.
Marilyn Monroe

After years of dating it has become painfully obvious to me what men are looking for. Despite what you heard from men (I have found some to be liars and at times confused) it is not just blowjobs and sandwiches.

So what do men want?

To feel like a man.

I know you don’t want to hear this but I’m you’re girl, I just want to tell you the truth. You don’t make men feel good.

A man wants to feel manly and in some way, shape or form you’re taking that feeling away from him. I don’t know exactly what you’re doing and he probably doesn’t either. All this man knows is he’s not feeling that proud feeling he’s used to. He’s been emasculated.

Men are sensitive and insecure, similar to women but they hate being reminded of this. God forbid you treat a man like a human instead of your hero. Not to say you should place your date on a pedestal, just avoid the following negative behaviors because men hate them:

  • Being demanding
  • Arguing
  • Nagging
  • Competing
  • Bragging

(I know and you know that I could go on)

If you know anything about human nature it should resonate that no one feels good about what’s listed above. And yes, men could make women happy if they followed similar guidelines but let’s face it: this is about your lovelife, don’t wait on a man to change.

Men are wildly attracted to women who are feminine and act like women. Unfortunately, over time, society has placed negative connotations on being feminine.

Being girly isn’t a bad thing. What women need to accept is there’s a lot of strength in being a woman. (You’re body is made to be strong to withstand the pain of childbirth) I often hear females bragging about growing up a tomboy or growing up ‘playing with the boys’ as if it’s some badge of honor. I played with Barbie’s. So what of it?

Just because men have outstanding PR in the strength department doesn’t mean that if you act like a man it proves you’re a strong capable person. I’m a firm believer in being a lady. Just because you can do for yourself doesn’t mean you should deny a man from doing it for you.

No woman should try to prove to a man that she’s capable of paying for her own meal, opening her own doors or pumping her own gas. When a man wants to do something nice for you, let him! The worst thing you can do is prevent a man from doing the aforementioned, or act offended if he does.

Of course he knows you can do these things for yourself, how else would you have survived on earth or at least gotten to the date. Unless you’re dating a complete moron (which if you are slap yourself ) general conversation will relay to a man how independently you live your life.There is no need to display your strength in masculine ways.

When I’m home alone, I kill spiders. When I get a flat tire, I put on a spare then call AAA not the guy that I’m dating. When I’m with a man however, he can change all the tires and kill all the creepy crawly things his heart desires.

I know many women think they’re impressing a man when they regale him with stories of their heroics. What they’re really doing is advertising, “I’m a bad b*tch and I don’t need you.”

It’s not that you shouldn’t be proud of yourself if you’re able to handle challenges on your own, lift heavy boxes and deal with the jackassery of Pep Boys. But if you spend enough time with this man he’ll see it on his own. There should be more impressive aspects to your personality other than being able to “handle your business”.

Women tend to equate strength with the things men do and weakness in what women do. If I’ve perfected the smokey eye or sewed a few buttons on my gorgeous Guess military jacket, I’m going to spread the news. You’re a woman and men really like that about you, act like one.

Allowing a man to feel like a man isn’t about downplaying one’s capabilites or putting on a damsel in distress act either. It’s about highlighting why he needs a woman in his life in the first place. The woman who can distinctly remind a man of what he’s missing is a keeper. Strength isn’t in muscles, power or throwing your weight around. If a man wants to exert his bravado and buy you a drink, don’t assume its an insult. You don’t have to send him a bottle in return to be on his level. All he really wants, is to get your attention, not make you feel like you can’t afford your own beverage.

The point is that a man is looking for a woman, a partner not himself (unless he’s a selfish bastard). He can express masculinity in various ways and appreciate it, as long as it’s positive. It’s typically a great quality if a man is a gentleman, don’t take the honor away from him by being his competition.

You wouldn’t want a man who only talked about ‘Sex and The City’ and shoes just to relate with you. So don’t feel it’s necessary to talk sports and cars when you’re with him. Even if you like them too, eventually he’ll figure that out.

Are you guilty of taking up too much of a “male” role? The Dating Truth.com wants to know.

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I'm just your average joker, writer, dating expert, know it all, beautiful person and champion for singles. When I'm not getting your dates I'm watching Law and Order reruns.

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Posted in DATING 101, WHAT MEN WANT
10 Comments » for What Every Man Wants- How To Make Him Feel Like A Man
  1. Kelly says:

    This is a great post, I really appreciate it. I’ll need to rethink my ‘strategies’! I heartily agree with the part that says society has placed a negative connotation to being feminie. I have found myself not wanting to look ‘weak’ or feminine, as I had always felt that I won’t be respected if i do that. I want to place myself on equal levels as men, and I always thought that one of doing so would be to show my independence! so this post has certainly made me re-think my ways! I guess I should consider putting one of my girly skirts and ear rings again! ahha

    • Miss Solomon says:

      The important thing is that you are yourself. That you embrace being a woman and not look at the girly things as embarrassing or weak. If you like pink, that’s your choice it doesn’t make you any less progressive as a woman to be feminine. Men have traditional ideas of what it means to be a man. By being more womanly you two can be more in sync. It doesn’t mean you can’t be his equal but you still have to find a way to fit together that works.

  2. It drives me crazy to read articles like this. That women in 2011 would still find the need to tell other women what they need to be, do and say to “make a man feel like a man” is disgusting to me.

    I have yet to see one article that tells Black men how to make themselves feel like a man. Instead, the onus is placed on the shoulders of Black women to do the work for them. To prop them up, coddle them, flatter them, and pretend to be weak, downplaying her wonderfulness in order to make him falsely believe he is more than she is.

    Instead of women downplaying or discounting themselves, Black men need to get on the stick and do more to elevate THEMSELVES. If your woman has a Bachelors degree and you feel bad about yourself because she is more educated than you are, then you go get a Masters degree and make yourself feel better! That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. Why can’t Black men assume responsibility for uplifting themselves and making themselves feel more like men?

    All I know is that I refuse to do it and always have. My husband knew he was not getting a sucka as a wife that would ever pretend to be less fantastic than she is. He thought that was great, and that is why I chose him. I could never settle for a weak man that was dependent upon me to define his manhood for him. T

    • Miss Solomon says:

      Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the fact that men are responsible for building their own self- confidence. Everyone is but you can’t ignore the that not all women are the same. Some women think all men are dogs and in turn have a hard time letting men do anything for them. I’m sure there are articles similar to this written by men for men but this article was written for the women I see who are competitive in life and in turn with their men. You may not have this issue and it may frustrate you that you’re more secure than other women. I think that’s great, that’s probably why you’re married. I try to write articles either based on the advice I would want if I were having a troubled love life or based on what I see. It’s easier to offer advice to readers who come to my site looking for advice. While you’re right, men should bare the responsibility. I can’t reach them from here. I can only hope that women allow a softer side come forward so they can see who is actually being a man and who is being a boy. Thanks again for reading.

  3. Kasey says:

    I love this article. Thank you so much for this rare nugget of truth in a overly feminist world!
    To you who take offense at anything that hints of being a girl and not a she-man, go ahead, keep doing what you’re doing! I’m sure it’s working great for you, right? I think they know we don’t need them by now, which is why they never help us with the dishes or get their butts out of the lazy chair. If that’s the kind of partnership you want, go ahead; keep saying “I can do it myself!” like a spoiled 5 year old.

  4. Emily says:

    This is great! Thanks. So true. I am learning what I have been doing wrong from many sources. It is unintentional but it is not working. I feel like I had to harden too because i am pretty and this makes me more intimidating to me as it is. I felt I would be brushed off as stupid especially in an educational setting. But in dating love and romance I want to be the woman. Just hard when have to learn how to draw a man out. It wasn’t taught to me by anyone so I have to educate myself.

  5. Lisa Odell says:

    I appreciated the information provided in this article. I recently received news from a man that he was seeing another woman and wanted a sexual relationship with me. I immediately judged, refused to play second fiddle, told him I wouldn’t die, and that he can be damn sure that I wouldn’t call him. I regretted everything I said the moment it came out. I called him back the next day and apologized for my emotional outburst and disrespecting him. He appreciated this. I am regretting the unladylike things I said and did with him. I acted tough and strong, I turned down his offers of help, we had sex soon after meeting – after which I expressed negative feelings, I drank too much, swore from time to time, I called him when drunk and spoke badly to him, I asked him if was crazy when he asked me to go away with him — all of these things are making me ill. I do not like the way I acted and know that I drove him away. I need to be a classy woman and am ashamed. I cannot turn back time – though I would like to. I get in my own way – thought I was classy – and am not at all.

  6. Elizabeth says:

    All I can say is follow your heart. That’s what attracts men to women. I am strong, I am opinionated, I have a master’s degree, I own my business and I am a single mom. But, I’m not afraid to embrace my femininity. Am I girly?? Hell no. But I am “soft” and youthful. And funny, spontaneous and I live in the present. And I love to flirt with my man…to challenge him in a playful way. He thrives on this. And when I need help, I am not afraid to ask. So I’ll tell him I need his advice and then I listen thoroughly. And he loves that more than anything. And I give him his space and trust him. And he loves that. And my man is all man. Not some doormat. He is my stud muffin…and I tell him this. I am not afraid to express my passion for him…and he loves this. Basically, the WAY I AM with him makes him happy…and so he goes overboard to make me happy because he wants me in his life. That’s what being feminine is about.

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  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Myron Abernathy, Miss Solomon. Miss Solomon said: RT @SmooveSalsero: An awesome article by @thedatingtruth http://www.thedatingtruth.com/2011/02/what-every-man-wants-how-to-make-him-feel … [...]

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