“I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it” –Marilyn Monroe
The alpha female is a force to be reckoned with. It’s not a bad or negative trait to be independent as a woman and the mere suggestion is absurd. What has happened in our society is a subtle war between men and the alpha female. One that in my opinion leaves women on the defensive.
Wanting to please your man or make the man you’re dating happy doesn’t make you any less of an alpha female. It doesn’t make you any less independent. The idea that a woman should want to please her man is a need to maintain a healthy and peaceful relationship. I applaud that. Where I think the trouble lies is setting a boundary between pleasing and being a doormat.
When you start dating a man or in the early stages of a relationship the one thing that can set you apart is to make him feel like a man. Being the kind of woman that a man feels good around isn’t a betrayal to your strength or power as a woman. The issue I see repeatedly for women is when they miss out on a relationship by being too committed to the role the man should play instead of their own.
If you meet a man that you really like and you want a relationship with him these are a few things I believe you can do to make him feel like a man.
Help Him To Feel Good About Himself
A man wants to feel manly and strong in some way, shape or form. A man wants to feel like a protector and a provider. He also wants to feel intelligent. There are tiny behaviors that most women display that take those feelings away. They just don’t make a man feel very good.
These behaviors can include but are not limited to…
- Being too demanding
- Telling him what to do
If you know anything about human nature it should resonate that no one feels good about what’s listed above. If you had a parent, or friend who displayed similar traits you might quickly lose interest in a close relationship with that person.
If you want to make your man feel like a man don’t take it as an insult if these behaviors don’t come naturally to you. These behaviors are mostly learned attitudes that have become bad habits. A small shift in your belief system can alter how you interact and engage with men. This shift however could make all the difference with how they interact with you.
Embrace Your Feminine Side
Being a woman shouldn’t be associated with being weak. I like to explain femininity simply as an appreciation for beauty. When you choose to embrace your feminine energies it doesn’t mean that you play dumb, dependent or insecure as typically assumed.
Being feminine could mean tapping into a quiet strength. Being a silent supporter. Being so confident that you let your man take the lead, trusting in his ability to do so.
Just because you are soft and gentle with a baby doesn’t mean that you aren’t in charge.
I encourage you to wield your power differently.
Men are wildly attracted to women who are feminine. Unfortunately, over time, society has placed negative connotations on being “like a girl” but it isn’t a bad thing.
What women should accept is there’s a lot of strength in being a woman (our bodies are made to withstand the pain of childbirth). The ability to bring life into the world isn’t a gift that should be taken lightly. You have that power, you are powerful so you don’t need to prove it to anyone.
Act like a Lady
What does being a lady mean to you? What does the role of a man mean to you? Over the years society has confused the definitions. Get clear on what being a lady represents to you and be that. Don’t try to compete with men or falsely accept that you have to be the same as a man to prove you’re as smart or independent.
I’m a firm believer in being a lady. Just because you can do for yourself doesn’t mean you should deny a man from doing it for you. I believe in community and when you build relationships everyone needs to participate.
No woman should try to prove to a man that she’s capable of paying for her own meal, opening her own doors or pumping her own gas. Trust me, he knows. When a man wants to do something nice for you, let him! The worst thing you can do is prevent a man from doing the aforementioned, or act offended if he does.
How can a man express himself as a man if you deny him the simple actions that, in his mind, represent manliness.
Of course he knows you can do for yourself, how else would you have survived on earth or at least gotten to the date? Unless you’re dating a complete moron (which if you are slap yourself ) a man knows that you don’t rely on him to open doors and pay for meals.
But a lady let’s a service be done and reciprocates with appreciation and gratitude. A lady is grateful and gracious, that’s simply having good manners. Set your own standards and live by them.
Let Him Be A Man
When I’m home alone, I kill spiders. When I get a flat tire, I put on a spare. When my bills come do, I pay them. If you are taking care of yourself as an adult should then you have every right to feel good about yourself. However, if you’re with a man who wants to kill your spiders, change your flat tires or pay a bill- let him.
If you think you’re saving him the trouble or displaying your independence what you’re really doing is advertising, “I don’t need you.”
Of course you don’t need him, that’s what he’s afraid of!
Allowing a man to feel like a man isn’t about downplaying one’s capabilities or putting on a damsel in distress act.
It’s about letting your man express who he is without finding flaws or creating unnecessary challenges. It might not be the behavior you’re used to and you might find it somewhat silly that opening doors, being or service and killing spiders are so important to him but it is.
If a man wants to exert his bravado and buy you a drink, don’t assume its an insult. You don’t have to send him a bottle in return to be on his level. All he really wants, is to get your attention. He’s not trying to make you feel like you can’t afford your own beverage.
The point is, most men are looking for a partner. Not themselves or their mothers. The best thing you can do to make a man feel like a man is to let him be who he is without limitations. Let him do what he believes a man should and appreciate him for his efforts.
I hope this was helpful.