Don’t Be A Fool- Why Women Should Never Split The Check
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition – Timothy Leary
When was the last time you paid for a date?
This week I was reading one of my favorite dating advice blogs, www.evanmarckatz.com. He listed an interesting mix of articles and websites that had caught his attention, the #2 most visited being a link to poll results done by LearnVest about who should pick up the check on a date.
Ultimately the popular answer was the man or (in the case of same-sex relationships) whoever asks.
My reaction was, “Are we still talking about this?” If you’re on the fence about who pays for a date, let me put your mind at ease, the man.
When men take a woman on a date they aren’t just paying for a meal or a movie, they are paying the price of their un-originality. Men should never complain about having to pay for a date that they’ve planned. There are multiple inexpensive to free options for a date but it takes a little more brainpower than a ratings search on Urban Spoon.
If you’re a man who can’t think outside of the box then you’re really paying for your lack of creativity.
Dating will eventually cost money, it can be expensive but the first date doesn’t have to cost a dime. If it does it should come out of the man’s pocket. If you would, for whatever reason, like a woman to contribute on a date it’s best to tell her before hand.
If a man suggests to a woman, “Hey, I know parking can be expensive would it be okay if you just split the cost of a cab?” If the woman likes you, she’ll agree or she’ll back out of the date.
If he waits until you’re at the attendant’s booth then leans over and says, “Do you have any cash?” That’s when tempers flair.
The best way to avoid this dilemma if you’re a woman is to avoid men who are likely not to pay for a date but that’s another post.
If you’re a woman who has a problem with a man paying for a date, get help. Cure yourself. What I have found is that we are a culture that’s accustomed to saying “No, thank you,” instead of just “Thank you.”
Some Women don’t know how to be grateful. (yeah, I said it) While we are a gender who feels underappreciated we fail to give appreciation when a man does something nice for us. Women constantly assume, “If he pays for meal wont’ he expect me to sleep with him?”
Well, Bank of America expects me to make a payment on time, that doesn’t always happen. Expectations are like opinions; we all have them. There is nothing a woman can do to prevent a man from expecting or wanting anything. What a woman can do is be expressively grateful, thank the man for his time and his respect. The amazing thing about men is that when you praise them a little, they are less likely to want to lose that respect. He’s less likely to act like an asshole. Basically, a pat on the back goes a long way.
And again women will say, “Well, why should I thank him for doing what he’s supposed to do?”
As a child we were given incentives for doing what we were supposed to do. Those gold stars for having manners, sharing and cleaning up our messes still mean a lot to some people. Don’t deny someone else just because you don’t need them anymore…. and um, because it works.
I’ve been on a few dates where I was apprehensive about if the man was going to take care of the bill. I hated that feeling. Its uncertainty and that’s not the feeling you want out of a man; women want security.
A woman wants to feel like a man is capable of taking care of her it makes her feel safe in his presence. If I’m unsure if a man is going to pay for me when we go out, I’m not 100% sure he’s going to push me out-of-the-way of danger. When a man doesn’t pay for a date it feels like he’s looking out for himself that is not an appealing quality for a relationship.
As important as it is for a man to feel that he should pay for a date, it’s just as important for a woman to believe she should be paid for. Everyone who disagrees can just date each other and split the tab.
Who paid for your last date, how did you feel about it? The Dating Truth wants to know.
9 Responses to “Don’t Be A Fool- Why Women Should Never Split The Check”
February 23rd, 2011 saat: 9:38 AM
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February 23rd, 2011 saat: 2:34 PM
biological FACTS. women are programmed to find a suitor to procreate with. They search for the finest they can obtain. Sometimes they settle for one whos realistically in their range, though they may secretly be knocked up by someone else. The good ol cuckolding. Its why women are so petty amongst eachother, all subconsciously and some overtly so vying for the best potential mate. Men, we are programmed to spread our seed. We see something pretty we desire and we go after it. TIMELINE. First we clubbed women over the head. Eventually we trade for them with SHEEP. It took a jealous king who first “put a ring on it” for that tradition to start. Tis true fair maidens, there is only ONE creature on this earth this is monogamous for life, and its not a penguin or human. With all that said, lets analyze some of this hogwash shall we? Men are SUPPOSED to pay for the date? Outdated preconceived notion. This is not 1970 anymore. If you women want to bitch about how you are INDEPENDANT, then be that. You cant have your cake and eat it too. Most of you rely on your looks to get you where you want to be. So lets be realistic. Those looks fade. So if men are SUPPOSED to follow such outdated traditions, keep in mind what happens in the long run. We like our torys to be shiny lustrious and new. When you looks fade, and youve been playing the “supposed to” game with us, well our next step we are SUPPOSED to do is trade YOU in for a new younger sexier model.
Women get with the program. Chivalry is dead and YOU killed it. You took advantage of the guys doing the nice things. Some of you went on dates even though you werent interested in a guy just to get a free meal at a nice eatery. Did the girl tell the guy upfront hey youre not getting laid tonight and im not even interested in you? NOOOO. Yet we are supposed to say hey lets split a cab or tab upfront? PREPOSTEROUS. Its a brave new world. And women are buying beauty in a can. Better think again if you think that same ol song and dance will work. Bring something else to the table and keep a guys attention. Foot the bill. Watch his eyes light up as he thinks dammmn now THIS girl is a keeper. You women fight to hold on to your good looks and long healthy hair for the sole purpose of landing a guy to take care of you. Thats your biological mission. Ours is to spread our seed. If you think about it, women should have been buying US the dinner all along. All because of one lousy jealous king….
February 23rd, 2011 saat: 9:15 PM
Realistic Guy, I think you made some great points, thanks for commenting. Times have changed and its not Kings wanting to claim women like property its also about the evolution of products being sold as expressions of love and affection. Back in the day a man killed something for you or built you a house if he wanted to be your husband these days women are still looking for those signs of affection but many men are trying to treat dating like an even playing field. Every woman is of course looking for a man capable of taking care of her because we have to have babies. If a woman gets pregnant by a man she would prefer he have some kind of intrinsic desire to be a provider. Although the first date isn’t an exact measure for that, women are definitely checking to see if this man can make her feel secure and taken care of. But understand that there are alot of women out there who are attractive and plan on staying that way for a long time. If a man falls for a woman’s looks its not a bad thing because a man’s looks will also fade. What woman wants to be stuck with a man who isn’t that good-looking, isn’t that interesting and still makes her pay half for dinner? That ain’t no kind of deal. I go on alot of dates and I never pay because I’m secure in the fact that I’m willing to spend time with a man even when a date doesn’t cost any money if he’s incredible appealing. If he’s just so-so, then I’m going need at least a Riesling to listen to him drone on about work. Women are far more interesting than men in my opinion. The bottom line is: my philosophy is in dating singles should take control. Don’t accept who is going to pay being a surprise, also don’t pay if you don’t think you should- man or woman. That means you aren’t in control of the situation. overall I just want women to understand that men have no problem paying and most do pay, women in return should give a man what he’s truly paying for, her company, attention, affection, charm etc. Its been my experience that when it comes to women, men don’t want our money. Alot of men are looking to find relationship too.
March 7th, 2011 saat: 5:56 PM
“women are far more interesting than men in my opinion.”
where did you get that from? highly subjective…but it is your opinion.
“If you’re a man who can’t think outside of the box then you’re really paying for your lack of creativity.
Dating will eventually cost money, it can be expensive but the first date doesn’t have to cost a dime. ”
AMEN to that!
my first dates are exclusively dive bars or pubs at night. I pay her a drink or two, make out and then take it from there. (if it aint cliking or I do not find her appealing, I dont pay for her and call it off)
Date no2. if I did not end up at her place in date 1, is usually a bottle of wine at my place or hers, or if it’s good weather a picnic with a bottle of wine and then back to my place.
I avoid dinner dates like the plague, if she insists on going, she is paying half.
I only invite them on dinner dates (and pay for them) on their bdays or xmas or once every 6 months if she is my gf.
I almost always strive for “cheap” dates , cuz the value is not in the money but the quality of the dates. There are a lot of things to do that are a lot of fun for cheap.
If her only idea of fun is going to a 5 star restaurent and going on expensive trips, I’m opting out of that arrangement!
March 13th, 2011 saat: 3:41 PM
Thanks for commenting! I think its great that you have an idea of where your boundaries are and what you are willing and not willing to do. Its easy to feel a person out and determine if they are flexible and down for your plan. Also having personal guidelines allows you to avoid trying to impress someone who really isn’t interested in you. It may take a woman a few dates to decide if she’s into a guy so it isn’t always in the man’s best interest to shell out alot of money for each one. Also, everyone is not compatible and not all women are comfortable being paid for so if you find a woman that you’re really into and she loves dive bars and picnics then dating won’t cost much money at all. I think its important to have a realistic expectation of who is paying. Neither party should be surprised or offended by how the bill gets paid. It should be a personal decision or requisite that one makes before they even agree to the date, in the first place.
August 7th, 2011 saat: 3:50 AM
Hmmm – if you expect the guy “to pay” & “to take care of you” … don’t expect him to like you, less still hang around. We guys have been raised with feminism rammed down our throats, being told how “you go girl” women don’t need men and are independent. And all parts of society, including the legislature, have been changed to favor you. But hold on,you also want to keep everything about traditional relationships that benefit you ?..like the guy paying for everything..from dates to three months salary for a useless rock you can show off to your girlfriends if you get engaged. With that kind of sense of entitlement it’s no wonder guys now only want to ‘hook up’ with american women … and that the number of unmarried women in the U.S now greatly outnumbers the number of married women.
As for women being more interesting than men – that’s probably true if you’re only interested in gossiping & talking about your weight … I mean e.g. Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Newton, Michelangelo, Mozart, Beethoven, FDR, Churchill, Einstein, Dylan, Brando, Lennon & Hendrix were really, really boring people next to Oprah and Tyra, after all.
January 3rd, 2012 saat: 4:47 PM
I do not entirly agree with this article.. I always propose to pay, or else not split the check. Only if the guy still insists after that I let him pay. Guys seem to like this. I might be a true romantic person, but I do feel bad if he has to pay for everything, it is the gesture that counts not the amount of money he spends on you. It is the love and affection that counts, not if he wants to buy you the world Women should not turn into gold-diggers… So to all you women out there reading this: always be prepared to split the check or even pay everything, not saying that you have to pay every single time, but guys do apreciate it if you are paying sometimes aswell!!
January 5th, 2012 saat: 12:27 AM
Thanks for reading. The point I was trying to make is simply this, don’t be so inflexible about the date that a man has to break the bank but let the man plan the date according to his budget. Men and women approach dating differently and the truth is sometimes women put in more effort just preparing for a date than a man might, showing up and paying. It isn’t always the case but it happens. If a man asks you out, accept that he will take care of the accommodations. If he asks you to sit outside a stadium and enjoy the music resonating from the speakers don’t be a snob & say no because ‘that’s not what you had in mind’. The idea of the post is to let the man plan and pay for the date. Be flexible be grateful and have a good time. If you don’t want him to pay or feel like you might have to, simply suggest something free. I appreciate the comment.
August 20th, 2012 saat: 4:05 PM
You are a fucking mooch and you need to get a job that pays enough money to buy a goddamn beer. We all do it, grow up, go back to school, put down the waitressing towel and do something that actually contributes to society. If a woman is unable to unwilling to pay for things in this country of “equality,” she is worthless in more ways then one.
“women in return should give a man what he’s truly paying for, her company, attention, affection, charm etc. Its been my experience that when it comes to women, men don’t want our money”
This statement is offensive as you are calling my mother and my sister and my female friends prostitutes. READ THIS WOMEN: Do NOT believe these lies and sell your “company” to the highest bidder! And miss solomon if you need to get smashed on a bottle of wine to simply withstand the presence of a male you are engaging, then you too are a prostitute.
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