How many times, if ever, have you said,
“They’re not my type.”
What was it about this person that didn’t jibe with all the others you’d dated and failed with? So often singles think they know when a person is right for them but if that were true, you probably wouldn’t be single. Just saying.
When single men and women describe their “type” it’s typically the kind of person that they have an instant physical attraction to or connection with. All single people have two kinds of “types”; the kind that doesn’t want you and the kind that does you dirty. When you routinely find that you are attracted to the same kind of person that does not equal a “type” it equals a pattern; of failure.
While watching the season finale of The Millionaire Matchmaker, the male contestant guest claimed that white and Latina women were his “type” then admitted that everyone he’d dated in the past, including his ex-fiancé, were nothing but triflin’-ass, gold-diggers.
So maybe his “type” is triflin’-ass, gold-diggers and maybe your type is someone who you think is out of your league that you continually jumps through hoops for yet still get nothing in return. A bad pattern is not a type!
The sad reality of dating is that you’re “type” probably doesn’t want you. It’s simple deduction. You’ve meet enough of a similar type of person to have deemed them your “type” but you’re still single. Hmm?
So often I see men chasing after women who are only mildly interested. After wining and dining these women, bending over backwards for their affection, the relationship falls apart. Big surprise.“Types” can sometimes be fantasies of what we think we want because we feel attraction and mistake it for compatibility.
When singles date the same person over and over, they call it a “type” but if this person was meant for you, you would be with them. When someone wants to be with you, they don’t dump you and chances are if they dump you they were not your “type”.
How often do you hear married couples, or couples in general say:
“She wasn’t exactly my type,”
or “He’s not the type of guy I generally date,”
When single men and women narrow the dating pool down to who they find an instant attraction with they sell themselves short. “Types” are nothing more than the commonalities that connect past lovers. Why would you want to keep making the same mistakes with the same kind of people?
The best way to enjoy dating is not to have a type. We all have preferences but the wider net you cast the better your chances will be. I know it’s hard to tell the difference between a type and a preference but the way to tell is that your “type” probably doesn’t want you. You’re “type” won’t easily fall into your lap and you will not live happily ever after with your “type”.
Pursue potential dates that want to be with you and who don’t add drama to your life. This may seem like a novel concept to some, since singles constantly mistake conflict and strife with chemistry. Stepping out of your comfort zone is necessary. Especially if what you’ve been doing isn’t working.
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