I once stumbled onto the good fortune of finding myself in the midst of the defensive line of a professional football team. (with no groupies in sight) As I wanted to mix and mingle, my girlfriend decided she would rather go back to our seats, way at the other side of the room. I was shocked! I was appalled! I was sipping on my free martini courtesy of the middle linebacker and this dumb b*tch was mean mugging from a distant location. I knew then that if I wanted to attract the right men I needed to have the right women around me.
Even though I love my friends I know that friends are not always helpful to single men and women looking to find dates. If you don’t already have one, you need a wing person. Unlike a “friend” a wing person is invested in helping you meet these people. Their sole objective is to help you initiate and extend interactions between you and everyone you meet.
Here are the 5 reasons that you need a wing person.
1. Encouragement. Our friends have different taste than ourselves. A wing person doesn’t think about what they would be looking for they have your interest in mind. They are not around to say who they think is attractive, they are there to support your decision and encourage you to take action, think positively and execute a plan of action.
2. Defense. When you pursue a potential date surrounded by their friends there may be a little cock-blocking going on. A good wing person defends you against shade and haterade. They spark conversations with those around you that might look to thwart your efforts. They double team your potential date so that no penetration is possible.
3. Grab attention. Whether it’s through suggestive action of just being super hot, a wing person is there to draw attention to you. They might be someone who is naturally great at sparking conversations with strangers. Whatever their talents, it’s their charisma and interesting nature that effortlessly bring attention your way.
4. Consultation. I don’t always know what to say to a guy that I want to hit on. Sometimes I need to talk it over with someone who I know isn’t going to talk me out of it. I may be a dating expert but I don’t have all the answers so it’s essential to have a sound board for game ideas. It never hurts to have a second opinion and because a wing person is on your side they should contribute a positive suggestion.
5. Social currency. Others will generally believe about you what you believe about yourself but a wing person adds additional credibility to your claims. I think I’m fabulous but if I’m with someone who is laughing, smiling and as happy as I am, it builds my social currency.
I went to a bar by myself, as I do often and took a seat by a woman who was getting ready to leave. Because space was limited she let me sit with her while she waited for her check. We chitchatted but what should’ve been a five minute conversation turned into fifteen minutes because her waitress was so slow. Before I knew it, a group of men approached us and offered to by us drinks. At this point I had a strict policy of never saying no to a free drink. Apparently this woman was a graduate of The Miss Solomon School of drinking because she knew better than to say no as well. We were all drinking and laughing, having a good time then one of the men asked how I and my female companion knew each other. I can’t remember if we lied or not but the fact was we didn’t know each other and I never saw her again.
The most important reason to have a wing person is because it’s a benefit to be around someone who can create the right environment for meeting new people. I was a wing woman for this stranger who wasn’t even looking for a man. I attracted attention, I was engaging and I prolonged the interaction. I didn’t have to know this woman to know how to do that. Had she been looking for a date, she would’ve gotten one. So you need a wing person, how do you find one? I’ll think about it and let you know.
Did I miss anything? Have you ever used a wingman or woman? Leave a comment below.