We all know what they say about assumptions yet in dating single men and women make them all of the time. In few instances are assumptions ever accurate. They create false perceptions and they negatively influence our interactions. One of the biggest misconceptions and the most damaging come from single men when they assume that talking to a woman equates to hitting on a woman and it doesn’t.
I know it’s difficult to approach a woman but once you do there is one more step in the interaction and its intent. It may seem crazy but I never assume that because a man is talking to me, that he is hitting on me and I believe most women feel the same. To me, it seems like men just want someone to make conversation with. I’ve had married men talk to me at bars, buy me drinks just because they were alone and wanted the company.
A woman will talk to a man because he’s talking to her. A woman will flirt with a man who is flirting with her. Women can incredibly proficient at following a man’s lead. It is then the man’s responsibility to have an idea of what he wants from the interaction and to make it known to the woman he’s talking to. This is why direct approaches work so well. Anytime intent is expressed it can only be accepted or rejected. Since it’s without assumptions and because women want to be lead, direct lines and come-ons are successful most of the time.
So my advice to men is, don’t just assume a woman knows your intentions because you are talking to her. First, find out if she has a boyfriend. Next suggest you exchange numbers then invite her out on a date. Also, be sure to notice indicators of interest and respond to them. The way women communicate is by hinting. If you don’t know whether or not a woman is interested create your own I.O.I tests. Such as if she touches you, if she tucks her hair behind her ear or if she shifts her body towards yours. There are many more indicators that can be found in body language books such as, ‘The Body Language Handbook: How to Read Everyone’s Hidden Thoughts and Intentions’.
Of course there are times when a woman might be sending a man mixed signals and he doesn’t know what to think. The mistake that men make is not finding a way to make their intentions known to then determine if he’s being accepted or denied. You have to know what you want. Once you approach a woman you must find a way of letting her know what you want. She has no idea why you approached her until you make your intentions a bit more clear. Don’t ever assume that you and this woman are on the same page you are not and will never be.
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