Although no one is good at everything dating isn’t a subject we think of people being bad at. Maybe you aren’t a good singer, a good dancer or good at math but dating, it’s like breathing, and it’s assumed we all know how to do it.
Years ago when the goal of dating was simply a matter of getting someone to want to marry you, sure it was easy to be good. You knew you had succeeded on your wedding day. Nowadays the convincing of others, into that marriage thing (and with who, you?) is a completely new challenge.
Believe it or not even I, a commitment-phobe, date with the bait of marriage. No man would ever take me on a date otherwise, not if he knew I wasn’t interested in commitment. Only women aka dumb broads pursue those who adamantly oppose getting married and settling down.
We date on the possibility that we think the other person will marry us, procreate with us and/or take care of us.
The more capable you seem at any or all three, the more attractive you are to the opposite sex. So if you aren’t getting any dates, a lot of dates, dates period; it’s because you just aren’t sending the message that you’ve got what it takes for someone to spend the rest of their life with you. Sorry.
According to ‘The Science of Sex Appeal’ a study of attraction conducted by The Discovery Channel, what we call attractive really means reproductively healthy. When singles look at one another, instinctively we see the combination of genes. Will my baby have your ears, be 6’4 or 4’6? Will my child have red, brown, black or blonde hair? Great posture, a glowing smile, clear skin and a healthy BMI sends the message that you are a viable partner. Confidence in having these attributes make singles dateable.
“…any girl who tells you different is lying. Rich men are powerful and successful and confident and charismatic. They know what they want, and they go out and get it. That translates to being fantastic in bed.” As reported by The Times Online. Women think if you can’t buy a drink you might not be able to pay a mortgage.
Not to say that you have to flash cash and drip diamonds every where that you go but looking like you do well lends to your attractiveness. It’s a recession. Many of us are not as successful as we wish we were but if you send the message of being Brokey McPoverty you won’t seem like a good partner.
TIME magazine recently revealed that men judge bodies over faces when it comes to one night stands. The women who were slim but with birthing hips attracted the most attention. Even erectile dysfunction commercials reminds men to make sure they are healthy enough for sexual activity. Being overweight or out of shape sends the message that some singles are not in good health which translates to not good in bed.
Whether you can run a marathon or last all night means nothing. You just need to look like you can do the latter. Especially as many times as it might take to make a baby.
No matter what we think with our brains, chemistry won’t let us pursue anyone who doesn’t seem like a good reproductive partner.
We don’t just choose by emotional compatibility alone but by genetics too. So if you want to be a better dater, do your best to seem like you’ll be a great husband or trophywife. Sometime in the future of course and after many, many dates.