If there is one person on this earth that deserves to be loved, honored and cherished it’s you.
The greatest gift that any of us can ever give to ourselves, or to anyone else, is our love. The trouble is, you can’t give what you don’t have. Just as the popular Billy Preston song goes, “Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. And you gotta have something, if you wanna be with me.”
The moment we approach a potential date, we’re sized up. They are judging not only what we have but what we have to offer. In this post, I want to share another necessary trait in making a good first impression and that’s fulfillment. By being satisfied in what you have, you come across as someone with something to give.
I look at character traits something like ingredients to a recipe. Flour is important in baking but it’s not all you need.
When meeting potential dates it’s not enough to be smart, funny or kind, you must also be interesting. When trying to make a good impression you never want to portray your life is empty. This is a common mistake singles make when they’re trying to seem available. But sending the message that you have time to date, can also make it seem that you have an empty life. A life lacking passions and deep interests.
The key is to figure out what you want to portray about yourself. First get clear on the type of impression you want to make. You want to come across as someone with a passion filled life they want to share with someone else.
You must first be honest about your life now. Answer the following questions:
- Do you feel that your life has meaning or purpose?
- Do you find yourself getting bored?
- Do you find yourself watching more than 3 hours of television a day?
- Do you find yourself surfing the web and trolling Facebook for more than an hour at night?
- Do you sit home alone?
- Do you often feel lonely?
Many adults are lonely, even those with packed schedules and busy lives. No one calls to ask how they are. No one texts to invite them to a night out. You might be in a new city and have yet to connect with any one group, or make friends.
So you purposely saturate your life with activity to evade the reminder that there is a void.
There is nothing wrong with being busy with things you like, until your life becomes filled with someone you love. The message you should be sending to a potential date or partner is that you’re satisfied with where you are in your life now.
You’re not just binge watching Netflix, and chilling my yourself.
Making a strong impression is about showing the other person where you have similarities. What attracts us to others are the things we have in common. We like people, like ourselves. Coming across as someone fulfilled in their life can be done whether you actually feel fulfilled or not.
If a potential partner asks you:
“What are you up to? What do you do on the weekends? What do you do for fun? What did you do on vacation?”
Nothing, or not much, is the wrong answer.
People are looking for a connection. No one is asking you questions to pry, or to be nosy, they’re usually just trying to find some common ground. Even if you haven’t done much over the last few day, weeks, or years just fake it. Think about all the things that you would do, if you had more time to do.
Unless you want to end their interest in you right there, find some part of your life that entertains you the most, and talk about it. When I meet a grown man that I know isn’t saving lives, or solving world hunger and he tells me that he is doing nothing, over the weekend, I am turned off.
Not only by the thought of him sitting on the couch, scratching his balls actually not doing anything but his lack of creativity to at least lie.
The last time that I had nothing to do, I was in middle school. Unfortunately as adults, our lives are filled with obligations, and activities meant to push us forward. Claim your life! If you’re watching a movie, writing in your journal, meditating or rearranging your sock drawer, that is at more respectable than nothing.
You should be fully engaged in your life.
There will always be something that you’re not doing. Maybe you aren’t reading enough, or you haven’t seen the latest movies. Maybe, and quite possibly work takes most of your time. As honest of a portrayal as that might be, no one wants to date someone who’s life is unfulfilled, or empty.
When meeting someone for the first time you want them to believe that you have something exciting, mysterious and interesting going on in your life that they are going to want to find out about.
You don’t have to go into great detail about what you do every second of your day, but others should be dying to know what your interests are. If you have a lot of time to offer, that’s wonderful. It means that you have room for love but if a potential date is going to be apart of your life, it’s important to convince them that you have one in the first place.